Twentysomething

          What the hell does twenty-something mean? It means you get no respect in a bar because you're just old enough to drink and everyone assumes that you'll drink too much, be too loud, wake up somewhere you shouldn't, and regret everything in the morning. Ok... I'll give you that one...

          Being twenty-something is just under being something-teen in the race for the most frustrating age. While you don't think you know everything - just enough to be obnoxiously arrogant - you are pretty sure you're doing everything wrong. You don't know where you'll be in 10 years and should you plan it out, well, fate will just take his strange turns like he always does and throw you for a loop, skewing all of your well-thought-out dreams.

          Being twenty-something means that people who are thirty-something will always say "I'd love to be your age again, but only if I can know everything I've learned since then." Great. Always something to look forward to, thank you SO much for the optimism, partner.

          Being twenty-something means you get carded and it actually pisses you off. You live off of spaghetti-oh's and raman noodles and you're not quite sure why anyone separates their whites from their colors anyway. The fridge is empty except for some old beer and your roommate's month-old... something... You get pulled over and the cop calls you "kid". Come to think of it, everyone over the age of 29 calls you "kid".

          Being twenty-something means that even if you have something profound to say - which usually you don't - it will be discarded into the "well, she hasn't learned yet" bin. If people should find what you say worthwhile, they will always throw in your age with a "while that was very insightful for someone as young as you, you just haven't learned yet" and then do something equally annoying, like pinch your cheeks. You can't punch someone for pinching your cheeks, because when you're twenty-something they'll actually arrest you and try you as an adult for assault. I wouldn't know from first-hand experience. Honest.

          Being twenty-something means that you're old enough to know better, but way too young to give a damn.