the model

The Model


“You were supposed to keep an eye on him”
“I did, he didn’t do anything”
“Then how do you explain this?”
“I dunno”
“Tell me everything you know”
“Well, I went downstairs to get a drink, one of those cute Shirley temples with the pink umbrella in it and…”
“See you did leave the room…I told you to keep an eye on him”
‘I did, he didn’t do anything”
“Well how d’you know if you weren’t with him the whole time”
“Well I know ‘cause he didn’t do anything when I was here”
“I told you…rrrgh…never mind tell me everything you know”
‘Well I was trying to but you interrupted”
“Just tell me”
“Like I said, I went downstairs to get a drink, one of those cute Shirley temples with the pink umbrella in it and…”

Frank paced the room listening to her drone on. It took her five minutes to get out the fact that she went down to the lobby to get a drink. Not only that but her big blonde head kept wobbling back and forth and Frank was beginning to wonder how much of an accident it would be if her head just happened to snap off. Would they really find him guilty in a court of law? “But your honor, her head was gonna snap off sooner or later, sir. I mean I don’t even think that all that hairspray washes out and then each day she just adds more. Why she must have been carrying fifty pounds just on her head. Imagine the strain after a lifetime of spraying, its all adds up, right?”

Frank’s pacing was becoming more erratic. He wished she would just get to the point. What was she talking about now...shoes? He stopped mid-stride, a jolt of panic rising in his chest.

“Where’s the red suitcase?”

“...and the lady beside me says that these flat pumps are quite the fashion now. I mean really, how could I resist? It was just a quick walk from the bar to the shoe store across the street”

“I don’t care about your shoes…where’s the red suitcase?”

“I’m sure it was right where you left it Frank, in the bathroom”. Frank raced into the bathroom and tore open the shower curtain, revealing the still intact red suitcase.

“I can’t believe you left the room and didn’t bother to even think if the suitcase was secure. It is the whole point of BEING HERE!” Frank barked.

“You didn’t tell me to keep an eye on the suitcase, only the man” Bambi protested.

“Well I guess that’s a good thing, since look what bloody well happened to him!” he screamed, pulling out his inhaler and taking three good pumps.

“This is just great Bambi. I spent months grooming this guy to be the model for our business and now he’s dead!” Frank groaned and plopped himself onto the couch. They had decided to meet here at the airport and pitch their idea to the business managers of the company. “The Big Wigs” didn’t have much time in their schedule and were on their way to another lucrative contract; apparently someone was offering a model in Spain, trying to break into the cologne market. Frank chuckled at that.

Bambi whined “I dunno why it matters …I told you I’d be a much better model”. She smiled revealing teeth like jaundiced skin, yellow from her morning routine of coffee and cigarettes. Not to mention her eye teeth came to these jagged points that made Frank tended to call her wolf instead of Bambi. When he tried to tell her this she tore out a chunk of his hair, thus fixating the mental image of the she-wolf forever in his mind.

“Bambi, my sweetheart, you know I’d let you be it, but you know you have such a hard time with your ‘S’s” and well we do require the model to say ‘soft, satiny wax that’ll keep your smile savvy’. Really dear we’ve gone through this before, remember the practicing? I had to change my shirt, twice.” He smiled trying to comfort the lying blow. Thankfully she agreed but her big cherry lip kept pouting.

“What are we going to do now?” Frank started to pace again. “The Big Wigs” were coming all the way from New York just to see him. Actually they were coming from four blocks away since they were on a business trip and stopping to see him before they went to Florida, Mexico, Spain, Italy, Germany and China for other rendezvous. Still their origin was from New York and Frank knew that’s where it was all at. He had spent his whole life just trying to come up with an idea to break into the market. Those that offered the fulfillment of an alcohol/drug problem that made you top headline news in the enquirer, right beside “BABY ALIEN BIRTHED TO BORDER COLLIE PARENTS”.

Frank shook his head, dissipating the fog from his fantasies. First things were first, “What are we going do with this body”. He took two more puffs of his inhaler and set the reels in his head to play.

“Maybe he fell on the knife, ya know an accident. He could’ve just been walking, tripped on something and BANG hit the ground. The knife just happening to be there and piercing his back right through to his heart” Bambi explained.

“Yes I’m sure that could’ve happened, I mean what with all the knives lying around”. Frank was starting to perspire and what a stupid idea, really why did he keep her around. What was he going to do; “The Big Wigs” were going to be here in less than fifteen minutes and he had to figure something out. The model had been promised to blow away the floss market and there was no way he was going to be able to find a replacement in the time he had. He stopped; maybe there was something he could use in the red suitcase.

Oh yes, the red suitcase. He had slaved for months to get the right paraphernalia for this day. He had considered using the typical black suitcase that one would see in the back alleyway dealings, but he thought “No this is the big time for the big apple and it has to stand out”. So red it was. He clicked open the silver snaps and heard the familiar destination call. He opened the suitcase’s lid and revealed “The Floss Kit”.

This wasn’t just any floss kit. It was complete with twenty different kinds of floss, all in different flavours, width and degree of wax coating. For your flavours you had bubblegum for the little kiddies, chocolate for the caffeine/sugar addict and Tex Mex spicy for the ranch lover in you. He did have one box of peppermint, but it was for ‘in case of emergency, I left all the others at home’ sort of deal. The box was also complete with a toothbrush, toothpaste and a set of dentures, to help with promotions; a good promotion always had a demonstration. Last but not least his brochures with his catch phrase ‘soft, satiny wax that’ll keep your smile savvy’ and of course his model’s face smiling his devilish, DEAD grin right at him.

Frank flung the brochure across the room. Think, think, and think, he told himself. There was no time. The dentures, he though… could it work? If he could put the dentures in his mouth then he could pretend to be the model. Frank grabbed the dentures and started to put them in his mouth. It started out well, but his already existing teeth wouldn’t fit into the gum insets and got stuck! Frank squealed.

“Helpth me Bambi” he lisped a cry.

“Frank what are you doing? We don’t have time to be testing the merchandise. Put it back and let’s figure out what to do with the dead guy. Do I gotta do everything?” Bambi rolled her eyes and pulled the teeth from his mouth. Unfortunately Frank’s own teeth were caught in the gum insets of the dentures and well I guess you could say that the dentures had a good grip on him. Frank groaned trying to explain himself but all he got out was “ahhh”. Bambi tried to pull again but this time she really put all her effort in. She needed more leverage so she brought up her leg to his shoulder to help steady her. All those years of yoga were about to become useful. Franks eyes widened. He tried to pull himself away but she was already committed and just as he pulled away so did she. The dentures came loose.

They didn’t just come loose; some of the teeth came out. Not just from the dentures though, but also from Frank’s mouth. He screamed and ran to the bathroom already filling up a towel with blood.

“Look what you did now, I’m missing my own teeth” he tried to yell between his own sobs.

Bambi looked incredulous, “Well just think about it, the dentures will come in real useful now. Between your teeth and it, you make a whole mouth”. She found this very funny and decided to laugh, completely missing the look on Frank’s face.

Frank stopped. He looked at his watch.

“Oh no, “The Big Wigs” are going to be here any time. Now we don’t have a set of dentures to use as our model and we have no model.” Frank started paced, taking three more puffs of his, already empty six puffs ago, puffer.

“I got it! We can still use our model. We’ll just pretend like he’s got laryngitis, so he won’t be able to give his lines. Then after we’ve got the deal in the bag we can dump this guy, find another and then tell them that we had contract disputes and had to axe him. It happens all the time in their world so they won’t think twice about it. We just need to clean him up. Quick Bambi, bring me the toothpaste, toothbrush and, oh a few toothpicks”. Frank worked like a madman trying to get everything just so. He brushed and flossed the man’s teeth and got him set up in a chair behind the desk.

“Okay Bambi, now you just hold his mouth open while I put these toothpicks in place to keep his smile set”. He placed the toothpicks in the man’s mouth and then proceeded to get his presentation ready. There was a knock at the door.

“Do you think they’ll notice?” he asked Bambi as they started to walk in.

“Can’t notice a thing” Bambi winked.

Frank held back a sob.

The End