In The Desert of My Mind

The desert stretched on as far as the eye could see; its sand displayed an unhealthy yellow-brown color under the sun, like the diseased skin of a sick man. The surface of the sand writhed in the shimmering heat in apparent pain while the barren shrubs clawed their way toward the sky in twisted agony. Broken rocks poked through the skin of sand like shattered bones, reminders of ancient wounds. Even the weathered, black-grey road looked to be a scar on the blighted landscape, cutting straight from horizon to horizon.

The car following the road looked as battered as the landscape. The driver’s gaze appeared haunted and introspective, the scene outside the windshield unseen but known. His eyes looked to have taken the pain and misery of the terrain into themselves and reflected back a depression and hopelessness that was as bleak as the environment. It was because of this that it took the driver some time to register the change along the road.

The other car was sitting on the side of the road with its hood up. Steam was coming out from underneath, and dissipating into the dust swirling around in the air. The driver had just enough time to register the head of the person sitting inside before he was past. He slammed on the breaks and skidded to a stop, but it was several moments before he looked up into the rear view mirror to see a person getting out of the broken down car.

He glanced back down to the dashboard and did not look back up until she was knocking on his side window. Looking up at her, he was immediately drawn to her eyes, which reminded him of his mother. They were warm, gentle, caring eyes with a trace of a smile always at the corners. When she spoke, it was with a comforting tone that hinted at middle-age.

“Are you alright, sir?”

He stammered that he was fine, he had just been lost in thought and had not noticed her at first.

She smiled at that. “With so little to see out here, that doesn’t surprise me. My rental car over-heated. Would you be so kind as to take me to the next service station?”

He found himself agreeing almost without thought. As she went back to her car to retrieve her purse, he felt that she was familiar for some reason, but he could not place from where. When she came back and got into the passenger seat, it was almost as if she was getting back in after running a short errand into the convenience store or the post office. Neither said a word as he started the car down the road again.

After an indeterminate time, he asked here where she was going.

“I’m heading to The City. I have family there who I am going to help.”

He replied that he was also going to The City, but he did not mention that he no longer remembered why he wanted to go. They then fell easily into conversation, an intimate conversation normally reserved for those who know each other well. They talked about things they both enjoyed and places they had both been. They discussed issues they both felt strongly about and things they both believed. They had been talking for a very long time when they saw the sign for the service station up ahead.

It was an old place, with only one fuel pump, a rickety garage, and a diner next door. He pulled in next to the fuel pump to fill up the car, while she looked through the windows for the phone. As they climbed out of the car, they noticed an older man sitting on a chair in front of the garage and an unseasoned young man coming out of the garage, wiping his hands on a rag. The young man had an almost child-like innocence about his eyes, but also seemed to mask some hurt. The older man glared at them all hostilely, and seemed to look the most hatefully at the driver. He was saved from having to confront that gaze by the young man’s questioning.

“Fill ‘er up, mister?”

He agreed, and then looked over toward the diner realizing he was hungry.

“Where can I find the phone?” his passenger asked.

“Right inside the diner there, ma’am,” replied the young man.

The older man grunted loudly as the young man began to fuel and service the car. The driver and his passenger walked to the diner and entered to the ringing of a small bell affixed to the door. The waitress behind the counter had eyes that looked to have seen important events, but were used to keeping them secret. She looked at the two entering the diner almost with recognition, but the look vanished as fast as they saw it.

“Sorry folks,” the waitress said, “the cook is off tonight. All I can offer you is coffee and sandwiches.”

The passenger replied, “That’s fine. I need to use the pay phone first though.”

“It’s right down there, honey.” The waitress pointed to a corner on the other side of the diner. As the passenger walked down the diner toward the phone, he sat down at the counter. The waitress placed two cups on the counter and filled them with coffee. He declined a sandwich since he was not hungry. It seemed like he had never been hungry.

The passenger came back from the phone and sat down at her coffee. It was not very long before the young man came in to the diner.

“All done, mister,” the young man announced.

He thanked the young man and took a sip of his coffee.

“Are you going far, mister?” the young man asked.

He replied that he was going to The City.

“The City! I always wanted to go there!” the young man exclaimed.

They all talked about The City, its wonders, its people, the things they all hoped to do there. As they talked, he noticed that he felt very comfortable around them all, like they were old friends who had just come back together again. He felt happier and more hopeful than he had in a long time, and it seemed perfectly natural to offer to take them all with him on his way to The City. He wasn’t even surprised when they all accepted.

“Damn fools, the lot of you!” the old man shouted from the doorway, surprising them with his enterance. “There’s nothing in The City for any of you! This diner needs someone here, and the gas pumps don’t work themselves!” Then he pointed at the passenger. “And you! Don’t you need to wait here for the tow truck? What would your family say about just abandoning a car in the middle of nowhere?”

The passenger, waitress, and young man all looked despondent. It seemed to the driver that this scene had played out before him a thousand times before, and always before he had left the diner alone to continue his journey across the desert. Something about this time didn’t sit right with him. These people wanted to go to The City, just as he was. He had the means to get them there, and their company promised to make the trek less bleak. And taking them just seemed so right. Who was this old man to tell them they could not go?

He yelled at the old man, and he would never recall exactly what it was he said. It came from his heart, and as he spoke he saw the hope come back to the eyes of the others. He and the old man argued at length, until the old man’s anger became unbearable for him. The old man snatched up a knife from the counter and threatened to kill him with it if he did not leave alone, right now. He did not wait for the knife to be pointed at him as he stepped forward to swing at the old man. His fist caught the old man high on the cheek bone, and the old man fell backwards stunned.

He ran from the diner, calling for the others to follow. They all piled into the car as he started it, and as they were fastening their seat belts he tore off down the road. He glanced back once into the rear view mirror and saw the old man come out of the diner and stare after them as they pulled away. Then the dust kicked up by the car concealed him and the driver turned his eyes back forward.

No one said anything for a while. The silence stretched on as the miles went by. Then, the young man pointed out something along the side of the road. They looked as they passed at the group of flowers happily growing on one of the shrubs. Then they noticed other shrubs with flowers, and patches of grass. And as the terrain became greener, they began to talk. They talked about themselves, each other, and much more. They laughed, and cried, and discussed their future together as the silhouettes of the buildings in The City began to become visible before them.