This is a little thing I wrote on how i deal with my life. |
Looking at the silvery steel blade Of the sharp razor I reminece on what you told me - ~Flash back~ "I found that you are ignoring me laterly when I talk to you, I'm your mother. Tell me whats going on. I feel that something is wrong and we need to fix it. Your grades are not good! Whats going on? I want you to cut of all your friends..focus on school! I dont want you to end up like your brothers. I wont hesitate to throw you out the house. I mean it!"-My mother ~end of flash back~ Again with the threats The same thing over and over again I do something she dont like She threatins me She wants to know whats wrong?!?!?! She's whats wrong. She is the reason I do this to my self- Remembering all the threats and all the neglect when I was younger always gone...never around Why do you wanna be there for me now? When I dont want you around...When I dont need you? I put the cool,sleek blade to my arm Draging it down i can feel myself cutting my self free From all my troubles,my fears and hate and pain Watching the crimson, sticky, warm liquid Run down my arm crossing over each others path Making it look like vains My eyes going dull as I forget about everything That was troubling me I start to feel better Like nothing was ever bothering me I feel like I can do anything Cutting my self free from this world In this state I feel like nothing, Not even my mom can get to me I feel on to of the world I quickly bandage my arm So no one will know whats going on This is what they do to me If I slip and cut something vital At least I will be happy Forever free And away from this world that has done so much wrong to me Away from my mom The #1 reason why I turned out this way |