Speed Bumps

Fifty-five was the speed limit in this country until a couple of years ago when it changed back to 65. I’ve been referring to my age as the “speed limit” for the past 11 ½ months, because I'm 55. A long senior moment, obviously.

As I approach my birthday, I realize I'm going to be forced to leave that old speed limit behind; I’ll be heading on to the next one. It’s with mixed feelings. Somehow, 55 was a nice double digit I could accept, both in speed and age. Now I have to seriously reconsider. No more, double fives’s. You’d think I’d grown attached to that number just by the casual way I say it, "Fifty-five." My little reference to the speed limit is merely an effort for me to joke about it. I don’t have to say aloud the words, fifty-five, just go ahead make this reference to the outdated speed limit.

It's a personal joke. Nobody else is laughing though. What is no joke, is the speed limit of my life is going up. In fact, it barely seems possible that I've been 55 long enough to be moving forward already. That's the thing about age; it creeps up on you just as easily as your speedometer does when you aren’t paying attention. The first thing you know, you see a police car’s red-light in the mirror, you know instantly you are busted.

Why is it I don’t see the cop of life in my rear view mirror? He could just as easily hand out a warning ticket. I’m sure it would read something like this; Warning: Speeding through the years of your life without taking pleasure in every day could be hazardous to your health. Not heeding the speed bumps of life, could be punishable by death, at any given moment. Reading it would surely jolt me out of melancholy--not that I need many more jolts.

Overall, this past year has been much easier than the year before it. I’m just reflecting on whether or not I could've done anything else to enjoy it more.

When I think about the past year, I realize that it was full of small things, and certainly some significant, life changing, things. I matured... reluctantly, in the past year. On the occasion of my last birthday, I was still actively grieving the loss of my mother. I was trying to take care of my father, husband, son, sister, friends, dogs and anything else I believed would help ease my pain. Of course, it was a diversionary tactic at best. It was merely postponing that particular speed bump, putting it a little further down the road of life. A little further down the road--when I might feel stronger, more easily able to realize and put into perspective my feelings of loss. Don’t get me wrong, the time finally did come, and I'm able to see past that particular bump in life’s difficult road. I took the strength I was taught by my mother, and was able to put it use, for my grief. Steadily my hands guided the wheel up and over that challenging speed bump. Being 55 brought some of the worst times, yet it taught me some of life’s best lessons.

I remember how thrilled I was to turn 55, it meant I could go to a certain discount retailer I love and, on Tuesdays, receive an additional 10% off the price. It used to get to me that my girlfriends and I would go shopping (naturally they insisted on Tuesdays), after their purchases were rung up, viola, the magic discount for the 55 and older group. I, who was a mere 54 at that time, had to suffer paying the full price. No more though!

I can say the same thing for the “senior” discounts on cruise lines. I always enjoy the once-a-year cruise I take with my girlfriends, laughing and giggling--just like a ten day slumber party when we were kids. It's not about how old we are in years, it’s about how old we feel in our hearts. Now I get to be that child for 10% less. Discounts aside, I can’t think of any other great inducements to look forward to for turning 56. WAIT! That means that I’m still alive. I get to drive the road toward the Route 66 of life! Fifty-six. Bring it on, I’m ready for the next adventure now.