Safe House of Usher

Safe House of Usher

Far too many hours spent
heaving and sobbing.

Weary from nerves
left raw and exposed,
I fashion myself
a transparent shield.
A cocoon of emotional void
where I live.

Selection: numb denial over vivid,
but risky existence.

I pretend to be normal,
while silently festering in isolation.
Unable to promise
that steel blades to the flesh
will bring oozing redness,
I’m no longer even aware if I breathe.

And then you...

Tempt me from coma
and open my eyes.
Against better judgment,
coerce me to know you.
Show me the world,
the one I’ve deserted.
I resist to admit, I’m in awe of your being.

But still...

You’re just teasing with things
that you don’t plan on giving.
Then I realize I’m not
numb, void, shielded or dead.
You’ve given me much
but refused even greater.

Such denial brings pain.
It's unlike any other.