Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I know it's been a while since I've written. I'm all grown up now and thought there was an age limit to your present delivery service. When you delivered my neighbor's silk chemise last year, I found out this wasn't the case. It was a little long for my taste, and not nearly as sexy as silk can be, but I suppose he got what he asked for. He's a chaste little thing.

So I figure I haven't gotten a gift in recent years because I've leaned towards the naughtier side of life. You have to admit that men leave my presence feeling quite nice. That should count for something.

In fact, I happen to know you like your women a little on the naughty side. I saw the center layout of you and the missus in the Naughty Twinkler. I loved the red leather number with peekaboo cutouts Mrs. Claus was sporting. Did you pick that out for her?

It doesn't seem fair that you leave the naughty ones out of all the fun. I bet Mrs. Claus still gets a gift from her big, strong, Santaman. So here's the deal. Bring me something soft and black with a little peekaboo action of my own. Do this, and I'll keep your naughty little secret between us.

By the way, I like your tattoo....can you make the reindeer fly?

Love and Twinkles,
Diane