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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Comedy · #780444
Evidence I have collected suggest the great musical talent Elton John is gay.
Elton John is Gay!

Now let me just state I have nothing against gay people … especially the hot lesbian women, but that’s for a different story. Anyway, my hypothesis is that English music great Elton John is in fact gay.

I came to think this recently after examining the clues, which I might add are not always obvious.

1. Back in the day Elton John had a very flamboyant style of dressing, which doesn’t necessarily mean he was gay. I mean Liberace dressed that way after all so I didn’t think much of it, until I noticed Elton’s glasses. What’s with those sparkles on them?

2. Elton John has a song titled “Good bye Yellow Brick Road,” a normal song title right? WRONG! It is obviously a reference to Judy Garland, whom is an icon for many gay people.

3. Candle in the Wind? Hello, more like Candle in the Closet. The song is about Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana. The evidence is starting to pile up now.

4. His hats. No one wears hats like those except grandmas … and the fact he would want to associate himself with grandmas indicates he not only likes early bird specials, but is most likely gay.

So in conclusion Sir Elton John … or should I say Queen Elton John is in fact, according to the evidence I have collected and analyzed , gay. This does not in my opinion detract from his music at all, which I happen to enjoy on occasions.

*Note to Elton John’s lawyers: Please don’t sue me this is just a hypothesis!

**Note: Yes I know Elton John is really gay.
© Copyright 2003 Cereal Driller (tuxedomask at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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