May Editorial: Dialog

Dialog can make or break a story. It is an important tool for the novelist, allowing insight into the characters, a vision of the scenery, and can advance the plot. Utilized properly, it can break up the monotony of a tale and give the reader additional insight into the characters.

I often dissect stories to determine what I could use to improve my own writing. Writing dialog has always been difficult for me. One author on the site, opto, has helped improve my dialog by sharing her tips for improvement with me. I found her advice so helpful I wanted to share it with you.

Some of the questions you should consider when writing dialog are:

What is the character doing while he speaks? Actions speak louder than words. It's a cliche for a reason. For example, if a character refuses to look someone in the eyes while talking it is important for the reader to know this information.

Does the character have any habits or nervous tics the reader should know about? Nervous habits can give the reader insight into the character. For example, she might bite her nails when she's nervous or wring her hands when she is uncomfortable.

Does the character have an accent or regional dialect? This should be reflected in the speech pattern. A wealthy character living in the southern United States would speak differently than an indigent character living in New York. They would have different speech patterns and use different slang terms.

In the following example opto sheds some light on how she uses dialog to develop characters and keep the plot flowing. Her novel is filled with wonderful examples of how dialog can be used to enhance a story. Notice the difference between the first and second sections of dialog.

[SETTING: Meg, Aunt Lou, Nick, Nali and Luk are sitting at the supper table]

"I love steak," Nali said.

"How would you know?" Lou asked. "You haven't eaten any of it yet."

Nali started eating.

"Aunt Lou," Meg said. "You might want to cut that for her, otherwise we'll be here forever."

"Mom."

"Nali."

"How old are you?" Nick asked Luk.

"Nick," Meg said.

"Is he a girl?" Lou asked.

"Let's not be rude."

"You asked for this interrogation, Meg," Luk said.

Using he said or she said is acceptable but doesn’t add much to the storyline. opto knows this and changes the dialog to allow the reader access to the character’s personalities. These changes also enable the reader to see the surroundings from the character's viewpoint.

"I love steak," Nali said.

"How would you know?" Lou asked, placing a steak on her own plate. "You haven't eaten any of it."

The younger girl picked up her fork and knife again with a grin.

"Aunt Lou," Meg said from across the table. "You might want to do that for her. Otherwise, we'll be here forever."

"Mo-om."

"Na-ali."

Nick paused in his noisy eating. "How old are you, Luk?"

"Nick," Meg admonished, unwrapping a potato.

"Is he a girl?" Lou chided, flicking her steak knife in the sandy man's direction. "Is his age a secret?"

Meg cocked her head in silet retort. "Let's not be rude."

"You asked for this interrogation, Meg," Luk said quietly capturing her attention with the power of his voice.

Not only did I help set up a little scenery in a short amount of time without having to do a complete pre-scan paragraph of the room, but I gave the reader a little extra information about each character - even Nick.

This works in scenes with lots of action and very little dialogue too. A shrug at just the right moment might get the reader to wondering what the character in question is thinking or the raise of the eyebrows from the antagonist before he throws the rock into the storefront window could make the reader really wish the bad guy gets something worthy in the end.

It's all about - are you all with me here? Let's sing it!! - "Body language!!" [excerpted from The Little Mermaid, Ursula's song]

Another thing I like to do is to play with words, though most people don't get that. Like, um . . . :

Meg frowned and peered at the older woman who walked to the cupboard harboring the plates with a spoon sticking out of her mouth.

Did you catch it? If you have kids, especially older kids, and breakable plates, you know that cupboards keep breakable dishes safe from rowdy kids, thus the "cupboard harboring the plates".

I want to thank opto for giving us these wonderful examples on how to enhance our novels using dialog. Next time you write dialog, go back and read it out loud. How is the flow? Can you picture the characters having the conversation? Can anything be added to give the reader further information about the characters, the plot, or the setting? After you have answered these questions, go read the dialog in front of the mirror. Have you missed any gestures or facial expressions? There is always room for improvement in our novels and dialog is no exception.