Writing assignment goes bad- KHS story

Okay... This is a "creative writing" piece, produced by me and Lauren today in Language. Me, the sadistic soccer player, and Lauren, the stupid white stoner girl. Naturally, our stories conflicted a little... I had to steal this back out of the conselors office when she wasn't looking.... Anyways, anything in blue writing is by me, and anything in pink is my Lauren... The stupid story goes as the following:

"Thank you all for coming to the Forest Animal Convention, 2003!" Said Kristy, the pretty rabbit. ALL the animals cheered, because Kristy was popular. "We are going to discuss the 1st ever Forest Ball!" More cheering. "But before that, we must take role." All the deers and bears and mice frowned. "Oh no." Kristy said. "Is that silly mole late again?"
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"...Is that silly mole late again?" whined Kristy, the self-proclaimed queen-bitch of the jungle. Her whiney, grating voice rang harshly in Bob the mole's ears. He gritted his teeth, and focused on finishing up the fuse on the C-4.
Bob hated nothing or no one more than Kristy, an arrogant, loud, and stupid rabbit. She swaggered through the jungle, despite her short stature and lack of brains. She teased, isolated, and picked on poor Bob constantly. Well, she had finally pushed it too far.
"Where IS that mole?" Mused Kristy. Bob grinned wickedly. Unbeknownst to Kristy, he lie only inches below her feet, rigging the C-4 explosives that would be the cause of her untimely demise....
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What the hell are you doing? The animals are planning a dance, moron. Whats C-4?
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After he finished tying the detonator to the extremely large stack of C-4, Bob tunneled his way out. He unborrowed along the treeline, and crawled into his blast-proof bunker. Here, Bob had a perfect view of the meeting grounds, where, unknown by his fellow animals, Bob had rigged several hundred pounds of extremely explosive material.
Bob toyed with the detonator, a simple button that would ignite the C-4 and turn the meeting grounds into a giant crator. He pondered, wondering if he should really push the button... Perhaps he could give Kristy one more chance--
-- A sneeze tickled Bob's nose. He tried to quell the upcoming sneeze, but to no avail.

*ACHOO!* *beep!*

Bob had pushed the detonator.
"Oops!" He said brightly, as the immediate area around Kristy ignited into a giant fireball of death.
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WHAAT? This is bullshit!
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The blast hurled the terrified forest creatures several feet backwards, impaling them on trees, each other, and shredded them against sharp rocks. From above rained dirt, metal, bloody chunks of meat, and charred fur.... Rabbit fur.
As the fur rained down like snowflakes, the animals looked around in wonder. No more Kristy! they each thought, amazed by the speed at which the annoying rabbit could be dispatched. They gave a great cheer, and went to the local pub to get wildly drunk. The end.
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The end? You bastard. What the hell was this?
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A work of art. My part, at any rate. Your part was a garbled piece of trash.
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You had to take a perfectly fine story and twist it!
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A perfectly fine story?! A story about a bunch of faggity animals planning a dance? I don't think so.
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You little prick.
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Bitch.
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Faggot.
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Whore.
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I'm telling.
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Fuck you.
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I'm showing this to the teacher. I'm not kidding.
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FUUUUCK YOU!

After that bitch Lauren gave this to the teacher, we BOTH went to the office, where we spent most of the day talking to the counselor about "anger management", "teamwork" and something called "after school detention"....

         What a great day. I love school.

*Okay, I know... Not very funny, but perhaps the image of Kristy (who, in my mind, resembles Lauren) going up in flames put a smile on your face...*

Please R&R, I'll return the favor!