saving me

Today i found that you'd uncovered me tearing a moment out of the air our voices accidentally tripped by technology blasted into your universe you called we fought i felt strange and sad as she slept i fondled the handle of a knife balde in that terrifying calm way and pointed it at my flesh drew it without cutting along my skin and then decided that writing was better than death what kind of melodrama was i trying to pull here anyway but i haven't felt like that in almost a year and now i don't know why i do or what to do scary to think that i'm back here again words falling over me don't think that i'm actively in a place to hurt myself i did after all have the strength to put the knife down as soon as i realized what i was doing and then came here rather than to my journal as i normally would and there was a letter from you that made me smile and scared all at once to think that i am truly not alone anymore and to thank you once again for pulling my ass back over the line when i needed it even if you didn't know it to me it still means so much

"such a strange way to show it as distant as last night's dream unravels she's saving me i'm a very lost soul i was born with a hole in my heart the size of my landlocked travels."--emily saliers