The Family That Reads Together

A family decides to read as a family.

“Okay family, listen up,” Andrew said. “It’s Drop Everything and Read Day!”

His teenage son Trent had just come upstairs into the kitchen carrying a basket of laundry. He immediately dropped it.

“That was metaphorical Trent, but I’m glad you’re getting into the spirit of it.”

“Come on, Dad,” Trent whined. “Are we really supposed to just read for the rest of the day?”

“Not at all. You’re also allowed to eat and use the bathroom. I get some of my best reading done in the bathroom.”

“Yes, we’re well aware of that,” his wife said as she came into the room. “What are we going to be reading?”

“Well, that’s something we get to decide as a family. What do we want to read together?”

“You can’t really read together,” Trent said. “It’s kind of a one-person activity.”

“Again, metaphorical. We’ll all be reading together in the living room.”

“Why? So you can keep an eye on me and make sure I’m doing it?”

“Well, that too, but it’s so we can all be together as a family. We always seem to be off doing our own thing; we’re never together anymore. Come on, let’s go pick something out.” They all trooped into the living room, Andrew eagerly, his wife resignedly and Trent reluctantly.

“Okay Trent, how about a little classical horror. Here’s some H. P. Lovecraft for you,” Andrew said, tossing him a large book. Trent looked at it in, well, horror.

“Dad, this thing is huge!”

“Don’t worry, it’s all short stories. Honey, how about you?”

“I’ll stick with P. D. James,” she said, taking one of the books off the shelf.

“Okay, and I’ll go with a classic. Lord of the Rings.”

“You’ve read that, like a million times,” his wife said.

“One million, fifty-one thousand, two hundred and seventy-two, but who’s counting? This is one you can always read again.”

They all settled in to read. Andrew was in his recliner, his wife in her comfy chair, and Trent sprawled on the couch. Silence ensued for several minutes.

“Uh, Dad?”

“Yes?”

“This story I’m reading…The Rats in the Walls.”

“Yes, I’ve read that one. That’s a good one.”

“Well, the guy in it has a black cat. The cat’s name is…well…”

“I know what the cat’s name is. Lovecraft had a bit of a problem with other races. When you read it, just mentally translate the name to “African American Man”.

“Yeah, right.”

They read a while longer. Finally, Trent slammed the book shut.

“Dad, that was weird.”

“That’s kind of the point, son.”

“So, was his family cannibals, or something? Did they keep people as cattle?”

“Pretty much.”

“And what’s with all the big words? I didn’t know half of them.”

“That was the style back then. It was all about painting a vivid picture with descriptive language. You can always look up the definitions, although weren’t you usually able to figure out the meaning from the context?”

“Yeah, mostly. It still creeped me out.”

“Again, that’s the point.” Trent shook his head and went on to the next story.

“Mom?”

“Yes, honey?”

“Let’s not have fish for dinner anymore.” His mother looked up in surprise.

“Why not?”

“Because it looks like there’s a lot of bizarre things in the ocean. I’m not sure I want to eat anything that comes out of it.”

“Sounds like you’re really getting into it,” Andrew said, laughing.

“Yeah, it’s definitely…ad aodaun…rllb…shoggoth!” Trent’s voice got noticeably deeper and harsh. His parents stared at him in surprise as a wild look came into his eyes. He dropped the book and put his hands over his face.

“What just happened?” he said through his hands.

“I’m not sure,” his father said. “But I think you can take a break now. Why don’t you go play a nice relaxing video game? Preferably one that doesn’t involve too much killing.”

“Yeah, that’s good,” Trent said, as he got shakily to his feet. “I’m thinking solitaire.”

His parents looked at each other as he left the room. They both smiled.

“And so it begins,” Andrew said. “That happened sooner than I thought it would.”

“Yes,” his wife said. “Soon we’ll be able to initiate him into the Mysteries.” Their eyes briefly glowed yellow, then they went back to reading.