When I drop the pen

Somewhere in this world
11/03/2025

To everyone with a pen to write with
Or should I just say, " to anyone reading this with a pen to write with?"

In both cases I hope this reaches as much such people as possible,

Why do you write? you have no idea how much I've asked that question. although I'm currently in my twenties, I've asked this so much it feels like I'm some retired old man already. I've asked it to myself, for the years i spent writing things without showing them to a single soul. tons, and tons, and tons of papers and notebooks with 3 languages (English included). Like a lot of you I've written for different topics (most in the form of poetry). be it sad lines, happy lines, hopeful lines or "I'm just messing around" lines. and the more i wrote stuff, I got to understand why I didn't want to share them: it's because i believed myself to be such an expert liar for writing things that contain such "passion", yet i felt nothing when writing them, not even at the start.

I've heard many times, from a certain someone when I was a child, that there is a huge difference between how i look and act, compared to what i write. even when asked about a topic, the way i speak about it, and the way i write about it make it look like its two completely different people present. when that person, curious as ever, asked me about it i clearly remember myself saying:" i wish i was that good when it comes to lying in normal stuff, but when it's with pen and paper it feels like people are just ready to believe me".
When he heard me talk like that, he gave me 2 "orders" that made me look at him, for the first time, as an actual teacher.
"just write more about anything, and make sure to at least share a line". i asked why, only for him to say :"given your background, i have a feeling it's just the right thing to do". back then i couldn't make the connection between writing, and my upbringing. and to just write based on someone's feeling? even if i looked at him in a higher regard since then it still was not enough. sure by time i wrote more stuff but only with mindset of "just to kill time", but when it comes to sharing it? not a single word.

Years gone by, and things changed. i found someone to share with, someone to impress, someone to sincerely write for.
but just like that things ended, through a simple misunderstanding. just like that: i had no more reasons to share.
So why am i here now? and sharing writings of all things? I'm not sure, such a bummer of an answer right?
but here is the thing: finding someone to write for changed a lot in me in more ways than i can explain, and now with that someone out of the picture i can only think of following my teacher's "orders", perhaps writing and sharing can provide more , maybe i can actually find something else to write for. so I'm sticking around here to find out.
But why I'm addressing other writers to begin with? could just drop it here anyway after all. well it's because i'm having the writers here, those interested at least, as witnesses: sometimes i just don't take a hint, so if any of you one day, notices a pattern in my writings: perhaps it means i have found a reason to write, just not realising it. and until i get a satisfying answer, be it from me or someone else: i'll stay here.
and Finally, and what is probably the silliest question you can come across: why do you write?

Yours, howl
(P.S: sheesh it's annoying to write long stuff with autocorrect for real)




.