Let Go ?

I gave my word to a friend.
Because of that, she left me a house and 39 acres in trust.
Trusting I would see it developed
not into a development,
but into a sanctuary.

And yet, things change.
She died long before she'd anticipated.
Her partner, first in line,
signed off after a fire destroyed
the main house.

Insurance would make the 'other' house
livable again. And it did.
But now, the 3rd in line, the trust trustee
proved determined that he'd get it
whether or not I died prior to him.

He wants to sell it to his sister
my friend despised with excellent reasons.
He, being in control of the insurance funds,
put all sorts of 'caveats' on the trust;
negating, somehow, her wishes.

Occupancy certificates were issued--
even though there are clearly dangerous situations within.
The property somehow ends up in his name.
He, as he's said, 'has all the power here
and I have none.'

He said, 'I don't really care what that batty broad
wanted. She's dead and doesn't matter.'
But ... but she does. Her wishes; my promise--
both floating in the balance.
Do I fight the unfightable?

He has the money and the high-powered attornies,
whereas I, simply, do not. It was going to be
a stretch to cover the taxes, utilities, and having
to live there; ie, my husband and I maintaining
two houses. We thought we could until

He said we couldn't use the fireplace for heat.
Arbitrarily closed off chimney flue, installs
expensive propane for heat. For a house
deep in the woods, surrounded by dead and downed trees.
But then, illogic seems to be his way.

Doesn't matter to him that I'd still pay insurance
because there is an existing fireplace in the house.
Doesn't matter to him that the banister to the second floor
ends two feet before the landing. Doesn't matter to him
one needs to bend in half to reach it going down.

All that matters to him is the simple fact
that if I sign off, it is his and he can sell it
for well over a million dollars. If I outlive him,
I have to have provisions made for it
to be an animal sanctuary.

I'm good with that. But according to changes he made
in the township; it is already his. Could he then
leave it to one of his kids, overwriting the trust?
He wants a lease saying I have to get his permission
to have 'guests' which means my husband and my kids.

I need permission to decorate. To put anything
up on a wall. To figure out how to use the sunken living room
in front of the fireplace I cannot use. I'm responsible for
any changes (like the dry-rotted front door) but need his
permission and approval first.

I see dollar signs flying up the chimney in fighting him.
I see us having to cut our lives to the bone
to heat it through a Michigan winter. I see problems
looming on so many levels that it scares me.
But ... but I gave her my word.

Some have said to just let it go. They say, 'You tried.'
Trying to keep my word, but failing doesn't make it right.
Or letting go of her dream because he's being difficult.
Yet is my word to her more important
than my husband being worried about it all?

This whole scenario really is not what we agreed to.
Not her fault or ours; his. I don't like mind games.
I don't like power plays. Honestly, I am not big on losing,
especially, when someone else pulls the strings.
I am not somebody else's puppet.

My blood pressure is rising. My temper is in the red.
No simple answers. Perhaps I'll win the lottery.
Then I could fight on sheer principle alone. That
is part of the problem; he doesn't appear to have any.
My mind swirls in circles: Damned if I do; damned if I don't.

So do I shrug and say, I tried? Do I carry on
fighting the good fight? Do I figure that one
doesn't need to keep their word to someone who's dead?
I'm caught in a Mobius strip of what ifs and what thens.
I simply do not know if I hang on or let go.