Giant Dog Dilemma

I sat in my room, just scrolling away,
Searching for tunes to brighten my day.
Then BANG BANG BANG a knock at my door!
My brother burst in, near shook to the core.

"Our cats!" he cried, "Oh, what a sight!
A giant dog's given them quite the fright!"
No time to think, no moment to stall,
My hero mode kicked in I must save them all!

Through the house, like the wind, I flew,
Charging ahead, my mission in view.
I ripped the door open, my brother in tow,
And froze at the beast that stood down below.

This dog was a massive six feet tall!
A pit bull, white, with a muscley jaw.
Yet, all he did was sniff with glee,
While the cats hissed in pure fury.

My plan took shape, my strategy clear:
Distract, retreat, and get out of there!
I turned to my brother to share my grand plot;
But where was he? Oh no...he was NOT!

A scan of the porch, a glance to the side;
He was safe in the house, locked up inside!
I banged on the door, but all he said:
"I was scared!" Then vanished instead.

Betrayed! Abandoned! Left to my fate,
Alone with this dog near our front gate.
Would I fight? Would I fall? Would I go out swingin?
Or just stand there and take a lickin?

For charging at me with speed so fleet,
The beast leapt up; oh no, I was beat!
But instead of pain or teeth so grim,
I was met with slobber, again and again.

On my shoulders, the giant thing stood,
Licking my face as hard as it could.
I cringed, I groaned, I wanted to scream;
But at least I was whole... and not ripped at the seams.

So, as I stood there, drenched in drool,
One thought was clear; oh, what a fool!
Not the dog; no, he was fine,
But my brother would pay when it came time.

For while I fought a beast so grand,
That little traitor had fled firsthand!
Oh, sweet vengeance would come, that much was true;
But first, a towel... I was covered in goo.

Notes ▼

Written for The Humorous Poetry Contest "The Humorous Poetry Contest"