This Time

This Time

Looking into the looking glass, I thought, maybe I could call in sick… I so did not want to go to this stupid thing.

But I don’t like to lie to my co-workers, well, actually it wouldn’t really be lying, I do feel sick every time I think about going. I’m not a “social” person.

I’m fine with one on one, like at work. Being the secretary, I talk to people all day. Co-workers talk to me all day long, but one at a time. They need something, they need me to look up something, or they just stop to say hello as they pass by. I’m fine with that!

The other people who come in are strangers, I’m gold! I help them find what they want, or who they want. I answer questions, I smile, I chat, they’re strangers! Ten minutes after they leave, I have floated right out of their thoughts forever. Or, at least until they come in with another question.

It's the being the center of attention that gets me. I’ve been known to black out when everyone’s attention is suddenly on me… Well, yes, I was five, but I still feel that way. As an adult, I’ve been known to walk in the front door of a work gathering, then “Hello!” away as I walk to the back door, where I escape! My favorite gatherings!

Well, it won’t work this time. I am required to stay the whole time. As I look in the mirror, I feel like crying. I have to go; and I have to stay right till the end. And I know everyone will try to talk to me too. One more gathering, and this time it’s true, I really have to go.

After all, it is my retirement party…