An old memory

I've always been haunted by this memory, felt like it was all my fault. Like I could have changed it. Maybe I could of if I would have just said yes. But maybe it would of made it worse if I agreed, who knows at this point.

The memory starts when I first met him, I had gone to the psych ward due to some issues with my family. I didn't have any friends till he came around. We stayed friends even after we left. He taught me how to play guitar we'd normally stay up till midnight showing each other new songs we learned. When we'd sneak out to our old hang out spot by the small pond out back.

Till that day hit, February fourteen, two-thousand and nineteen. We had been our video-chat, I was already dating someone abusive at the time. I was afraid to tell him, that I'd be judged for it. That was until he asked me to be his girlfriend. I panicked and told him I had to use the bathroom. I came back only five minutes later and it was pitch black. I thought he possibly left the room. Little did I know it was the last time we'd ever talk. He had taken his life that night.

His mother blamed me even after I told her I was dating someone. She blamed the fact he even met me, I wasn't allowed near his grave or funeral. I was only allowed to visit seven years after. But now it's an old memory, one I'll always hold onto.