Am I the monster?

When I was young I was used to my parents fighting having to lock the door or play music on my old radio. I swore to myself I'd never be like him. I was always tired of the endless screaming, the silence right after, or being brought up into it. As I grew older I grew far from my father, I was too scared to admit I was terrified of him. Of all the horrible stories I'd had been told from my siblings, the horrors I had to witness. I used to run to him when I was scared but now as I grow up I find comfort inflicting pain of what I had on others. I had always told myself my father was the monster but here I am slowly turning into him. But am I the monster for it?