Christmas Ghosts

It looked like I was going to be spending Christmas alone this year. My wife had left me a few years back and our kids were grown up and out of the house. Both of them lived in different states now.

My youngest daughter had offered to fly me out to Florida to spend Christmas with her but I wasn't feeling up to it. It was sweet of her to call in and check on me. I had overcome an alcohol addiction a few years back and it was understandable she would be concerned. I told her I would be fine which was true for the most but as I reached the holiday I found myself feeling the weight of that decision.

I am usually a pretty solitary type of person so I don't really mind being by myself but you wind up being more susceptible to loneliness on Christmas. Still, those feelings weren't enough to make me want to leave the house. I did my best to just shake them off.

I loaded up a movie on my Netflix queue and was warming up some water preparing to make hot chocolate when the sadness hit me in full. I thought about earlier Christmases I spent with my family. I remembered setting up the Christmas decorations with my son and daughter, helping my wife Emma prepare Christmas dinner on the occasions we didn't go out to eat or order in. Sometimes we had guests over. My parents loved to see their grandchildren. We would pass the time playing Christmas games and watching holiday movies . I particularly loved the smiles on my children's face when they were opening their Christmas presents in the morning. When they were a little older I would get Christmas presents from them, as well.

It wasn't that our Christmases were without problems... there was always an argument or two that occurred as the stress of the holidays and family get togethers built up but I remember them as happier times.

Lost in my memories I hadn't noticed the water boiling. The whistle of the kettle wasn't even enough to knock me out of them.

"Are you going to get that?"

I looked around to see my Emma behind me.

She could still make me smile. "Hey Em." I greeted her. "I didn't hear you come in." Apparently she still had her key.

"Mmm... I can see you were preoccupied."

As I shut off the kettle. She took off her jacket and gloves. I saw she still was wearing her wedding band.

She seemed to read my mind. "Technically we are not divorced." She reminded me.

"I am not complaining," I said. "I thought you were spending Christmas with your parents this year?"


"I was," She admitted. "But it seemed like you needed me more."

"Did Kristin call you?" I wondered aloud.

"She's worried about you," Emma confessed. "And so am I."

I turned away from her unable to look at her. I didn't need to tell her that I intended to add something stronger to the Hot Chocolate. She already knew. "I'm fine."

"Ok," Emma said. She gently touched my shoulder. Her touch was soft and comforting. Just the way I remembered it. "Look I didn't come here to scold you." She said.

"I know," I poured the two of us cups of hot chocolate opting for a more virgin blend.

She sat down on the couch next to me. "Let's watch a Christmas movie." she recommended.

"Just what I had in mind." I agreed stealthily exiting the film I had previously loaded.

She smiled.

"Em..."

"Hmm."

"I'm sorry..." I wanted to say more but I was unable to get the words out.

She touched my lips shushing me. "Not your fault."

I felt like she was letting me off the hook but it was something I needed to hear.

She snuggled under my arm and the two of us watched the movie together. I was happier than I had been in a long time.

Unfortunately all good things have to end eventually. When the film ended she reached for her jacket

"Em please don't go"

She looked at me sadly. "I wish I didn't have to," she said. "You know why I can't stay right?"

I nodded sadly. Part of me wished that I couldn't able to tell that this wasn't real but my mind knew I was daydreaming.

My wife had died in a car accident a few years back. I just wanted to fantasize a little bit about seeing her again.

"Thank you for for checking up on me Em." I said trying for the closure I wasn't able to obtain with her in real life.

She smiled. "I'm always looking out for you" She told me. "You just need to look out for yourself as well."

I nodded. "Can you at least visit me again from time to time?" I asked hopefully.

She paused then grinned. "Same time next year?" she asked.

"It's a date!"


Word Count: 833 Words