Worry vs. Care (Part 1)

         Worry is not the same as care. Worry is a form of control over another, where care is a relinquishing of control into a form of helpful acceptance.
         The distinction between worry and care is one I often ponder about, especially as I think about how I treat myself. If I’m honest, I think I tend to worry about myself more than I actually care for myself. Worry feels like second nature to me—it’s almost automatic. It’s that voice in my head constantly asking, What if? or warning me of all the things that could go wrong.
         Growing up, I felt like worry was disguised as care. My parents would say things like, “We just want what’s best for you” or “We’re worried because we care.” Hearing that made it easy for me to think that worrying was the same as loving, even when it caused stress. So, I adopted this habit for myself. When I don’t have every detail of my life perfectly mapped out—whether it’s about school, my relationships, or the future—I start to spiral. My worry becomes an attempt to control the uncontrollable, and it rarely leaves me feeling better.
         Caring, on the other hand, feels like something I’m still learning to practice. To care for myself means letting go of the need to have everything figured out and instead focusing on what I truly need in the moment. For example, if I’ve had a long day, caring looks like giving myself permission to rest without guilt. But more often than not, I’ll worry about whether I’m “wasting time” or falling behind.
         I’ve started to wonder why it’s so much harder to care than to worry. Maybe it’s because care requires trust—not just in myself, but in the idea that things don’t always need to be perfect to be okay. It’s about accepting that some things are beyond my control and that this isn’t a failure on my part. Worry, while exhausting, feels safer because it creates the illusion of control, even when it doesn’t actually solve anything.
         The more I reflect on this, the more I realize that I want to shift from worry to care in my life. Caring means being patient with myself and understanding that it’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s not about fixing everything; it’s about being kind to myself in the process. That’s the kind of relationship I want to have with myself—not one rooted in fear, but one that allows space for peace and growth.
         This reflection has reminded me that caring for myself isn’t just important; it’s necessary. Worry might feel like an instinct, but care is a choice—one I hope to make more often.