My Dead Dad

I don't know his exact age at death as he would have been 33 years according to his marriage certificate or 46 years according to the crew list of his ship SS Empire Tower on 5th March 1943. He was torpedoed and 49 crew mates perished and only 3 survived. The Empire Tower sank in a minute. Ironically the U boat which sank the Empire Tower was itself lost a week later but then Mam said he was unlucky and once got hit by a cricket ball - what difference that week made to the life of my family! Mam said he had forebodings about serving on Empire Tower,which had a history damage caused by enemy action and other mishaps.

He was christened, John Leslie Williams but everyone knew him as Leslie and like many men took what work they could find. He started as a Steward and then progressed to being a Greaser or as I was told a Donkey man, whatever that means. He died when I was 18 months old, so I have no direct memories of him.

He was reported lost at sea and as a child I thought he may be found like the many things that Mam mislaid only to find again but sadly that didn't apply in his case.

One of my strongest memories of childhood was the hush when Paul Robeson sang 'Just A -Wearyin' for You'. I can still remember the catch in Mam's breath when that song was played on the wireless, the only time apart when the death of Mam's mother when she had showed any emotion at all.

As a child I couldn't understand why she wouldn't hold our hands, a therapist suggested that she be afraid of losing us too. Perhaps I should explain, her first daughter Alice was still born. Her second girl, Mary, suffocated in a stream in 1937, She bore surprise twins, me and my brother Dave in 1941. her beloved Leslie died in 1943. In spite of such twists of fate, she raised three kids on the pittance of a War Widows' pension without the support of food bands. She always ate away from us and I suspect her plate didn't often need washing up.

Also, my childhood may explain my support of C.N.D and the peace movement. At 83 I stand outside the Westgate Hotel with a banner to ask God to stop all wars.