I don't drink wine

"Mrs. Hardcastle?"

"Yes? Hello?"

"Hello Mrs. Hardcastle, my name is David Simmons, I'm from Simmons Sommeliers."

"Oh yes?"

"I'm ringing to let you know that you're our grand winner."

"Am I? What's that about then?"

"Ermm. This is Mrs. Ethel Hardcastle of 23 Bollwick Gardens, Nessex, NX2 3BE?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Mrs Hardcastle you entered our in-store promotional prize draw a few weeks back, and you are our grand prize winner."

"Oh did I? What was that?"

"You entered your details on a card in Billy's Bargain Boozarium."

"Oh Billy's yes. I get my stout from there. It's one of the few places that still does it you know. I used to get it from Walltoads, but they stopped doing it. The giurl said there wasn't enough demand, and I said 'Well I demand it.' and she just laughed. I didn't think it was funny at all."

"Errm. Yes well. You've won a holiday Mrs. Hardcastle. Two weeks in France, all expenses paid mind."

"Oh that's nice I expect."

"Yes. Touring the vineyards, and visiting some first class restaurants. You'll be sampling some of the very best wines, direct from our esteemed suppliers."

"Oh well that's nice I suppose only..."

"Yes?"

"I don't drink wine."

"Ah!"