One isolated lapse in judgement can fortify what seems impercable. |
Chapter 1 I've always found peace and more life in the things that I cannot see and touch. The veil of reality has lifted, revealing a spiritual world that resonates deeper within me than the life I once knew. Being drawn to the intangible has made me find solace in love's powerful connections. Born a natural lover in a world where hardships often test devotion feels like being born in the wrong place because earth is no place for natural lovers. It's better for people who are taught how to love and yet taught again how to hate love by the hardships of love. But naturally for us it is impossible to hate love that's why we suffer over and over again but we keep coming back with the same intention. To love and love like we've never been hurt before. Isn't it sad? Even something inherently straight forward like love has been encumbered. Society has effectively assigned a monetary value to it. People won't understand I feel suffocated when there is no romance in my life that's why I keep trying even when I get hurt. The intention is always pure I only settle for what's possibly love and great love that is why I do not hurt anyone and even when my love gets betrayed I always leave before I even get a chance to revenge because if it's not love and once it reveals itself that it wasn't love from the very first beginning I leave, I don't have time for revenge I want to fix myself and try again. When my peers used sex for love and just went with the flow I wanted to love for real, I've always craved for love at a very young age. I was born a natural lover. At times I laugh when people tell me I shouldn't and cannot trust girls otherwise I'll get hurt. But I've been hurt not once so I know the pain but I'd rather risk going through that pain again than to risk not having love. I find life very simple when I have a strong love in my life. That is why I write about love. I'm a natural lover, that's why I don't write about the hardships of it, I write about true love to try and make people believe in it. Even though the hardship nonetheless my resolve remains steadfast, driven by an unwavering commitment to love unconditionally. This dedication has guided me towards meaningful relationships, eschewing superficial connections in favour of profound love. When I met my wife Sizakele I felt complete. I asked for her heart and she gave me her life, I asked for a baby boy that would expand the seeds of my surname when I'm gone she gave me two at the same time. The sacrifices she made for us made me realise that she was the centre of my whole life. Being a perfect woman that she is I could only be grateful to her mom who raised her handsomely I am only just reaping what she sowed. I really envy my mother in law, after so many struggles finding my match she is the reason for my happiness today. I mean some girls I've dated were great even loving too they just lacked a powerful guidance like my wife had from her mother. Her unwavering support and sacrifices underscoring the transformative power of love. Her mother's nurturing influence has been instrumental in shaping her compassionate nature. Life happens so it happened that the woman I admire so much got ill even though it wasn't something serious but I was very happy to let my wife go and take care of her mom for a few days. So I dropped her at her mom's place, I was on my way back to my house when I saw this girl. I was just about to cross the bridge called Injesuthi in Estcourt Loskop where my wife is from. I know this place very well I grew up here I only left when I was a teenager. This girl was standing across the bridge I was about to cross. She was wearing a stomach out t-shirt that showed off her flat belly, a short she was wearing nearly showed the hills of her bums. As I was driving very slowly I could see clearly, she was standing all alone, she grew far from the ground just a towering figure more like a model, and her stunning body which of course I guess inspired her to dress the way she was dressed. I'm not a fussy guy in these kinds of cases all I do is just appreciate God's talent and pass. I was going to do the same here but I noticed that she was stopping my car. One thought said don't stop reasons being that why she was dressed like that. The second thought on the other hand said: "Stop this could just be a person who's looking for help. Anyway she can't force you into anything that you don't want to do now can she?" I decided to listen to the second thought and I stopped but of course I had passed her a little as indecisive as I was. She came to the car running giving me the impression that she didn't want to keep me waiting. Her dress code was the underlining factor in my mind. What would a girl dressed like that be possible stopping me for? This shall be interesting. As I thought to myself. Before she could say anything her facial expression was written please help. "Hi I was wondering if you won't pass in town, I've been standing here and taxis are not coming and I'm late. If you could please give me a lift I'll pay." Just that face full of worry and her small innocent Chinese eyes, a no would definitely make my conscience question my kindness. I was indirectly starting to blame her for the heat, as her skin colour matched the colour of the sun. "I'll pass in town, get in." Just the relief on her face when I said that made me feel like a hero. I mean naturally in others delight I find my own. Her much relieved smiling face made me feel like a hero already as she got in the car. "Thank you so much." She said opening her bag she took out a 50rand note and passed it on to me. "No it's okay you don't have to pay I mean I'll pass in town anyway." I said feeding this animal inside me that feeds on seeing other people delighted, despite their gender, race or age group. Being a good person sometimes is not a choice, it chooses you. It would make more sense if one was a horrible person in their previous lives and the universe has given them a second chance to come and right their wrongs therefore despite the treatment they get they still have to be good. "My name is Sindy." She said with a polite voice. I wasn't sure if her voice was naturally soothing and inviting just a singing bird or was it just my imagination. "I'm Sphe." I said looking at her succulent thighs for a second. It was more as if someone had a daily job of just polishing them everyday that is how fresh they were. "Nice to meet you, you are very kind." She said and I looked at her, she had one dimple on her right cheek. She had tiny straight teeth, super while like one who has seen the snow covered the mountains. Her skin colour was like those of sea sands like the sun coming out in the morning. It was more as if she was there when God was assembling her choosing exactly what she'd love to have. As we arrived in town I asked. "Where must I drop you off?" "By the taxis who are going to Pietermaritzburg." She said. "You are good to Pietermaritzburg?" I asked out of curiosity. "Yes." "Oh wow! I'm going there too, actually I'm from there." "Oh my God! You're joking right?" "Nope I'm not joking I'm from PMB." "No way, you know I was actually worried about the taxi thinking about when it will get full like I'm really late. Oh my God Sphe like are you even sure that you are human? Right now to me it seems like you are just an angel that is sent to me to save my day today." She was then unusually uninhibited in my presence, more as if we'd established a deep connection. I was also beggining to be free around her. Apart from her charming looks, soothing voice and seductively attractive body she had a good sense of humour. We were then heading to the city of choice the capital city of KZN if u like to call it that way. "She's a lucky woman." She said and my guess was that she had seen a ring on my left hand second finger. I smiled a little, her eyes may be small but they are clearly sharp. "In essence you can say so but I'm actually the one who's lucky." I said looking at her and in a second snapping my look away from her back to the road, the corner of my left eye keeps on glancing at those thighs though. They seem perfect as if she purposely chose them from those God had put in front of her when she was assembled. For me such perfection is beyond genes I see God's talent in such beauty. Of course this kind of beauty is very different from my wife's beauty and cannot be compared. Just like any other form of nature Sindy was more like a decor that God used to make his earth beautiful, on the other hand my wife was created especially for me, she was a female version of me and could not be compared with any woman alive or dead. "I can say that you are both lucky then." She was then throwing her arms around dancing to the song that was playing in the car. "That's because you haven't met her if you would see her you would definitely agree that I'm the one who's lucky." I keep giving her a brief glance look before looking back at the road. "If I had a man who speaks so highly of me, I would definitely feel very lucky." She said and then sang along with the song. "You reckon?" "I'm telling you, most men lie and say they are single these days." "Yeah I guess you're right but I give credit where it's due, I didn't marry a human being I married an angel." "Well just remember that it takes one angel to see another." I looked at her with a blushing face and it went quiet for a moment. On top of all that she is she is a flirt too in a respectful way. Mmhh too many good qualities this one. Thank God I'm taken but even if I wasn't I would want to carefully count my steps with this one, she's too pretty, fun to be around I wouldn't want to get carried away and end up thinking with my heart. *Tryna decide, tryna decide if I... really wanna go out tonight I,,,,,,, never used to go out without u, I'm not sure I remember how to. Gonna be late, gonna be late but all my girls don't have to wait coz,, I don't know if I like my outfit I tried everything in my closet.* She was singing along this Shontelle song called t-shirt this one she's feeling it she even throws her hands in the air, it seems like she likes this idea of being seeing with nothing but a t-shirt on. We end up talking a lot, I even feel very comfortable around her. It was sunny in Estcourt but as we approached Pietermaritzburg the weather changed. In Pietermaritzburg it was raining heavily. She took out her cellphone in an attempt to call someone but it seemed like she wasn't finding this person, immediately I saw that worry on her face that I saw when she stopped my car. Her smile vanished like dew at dawn. All her freedom evaporated like dew in the sun's warmth. After asking myself a number of times what to do I decided to ask her. "Where must I drop you off Sindy?" I asked politely. "I don't know, I actually don't know this place the person whom I'm going to now his phone is off and I don't know what to do I've never been here before, I don't even know the name of the place I'm going to he just told me to call him when I'm in town and now his phone is off, but I'll keep trying him." I saw a lot of panic in her, something totally different to that girl she was about a minute ago. Indeed she kept on trying but there was no luck. It was raining heavily. "Umh I'm going to leave you at the Selgro centre, when you finally get hold of him tell him you're at the Selgro centre he'll come and get you." She didn't try to challenge that statement, she agreed to it anyway I wasn't asking her but I was telling her but I saw a very sad look on her face and fear in her tiny eyes. Indeed I dropped her there and I drove off to my house now. On my way my conscience started fighting with me, my conscience is very very active. "How could you leave a female person in a foreign town where she doesn't know anyone, she could get raped and killed you know." My conscience said to me. I even saw the daily sun written in bold that an unknown girl was brutally murdered in Pietermaritzburg. I mean horrible things happen in this town they even call it the town of sinners for a reason. I couldn't resist all I could think about was the guilt I would have to live with for the rest of my life if this really happened. I decided to go back and I turned and went back. |