Dancing in the rain

It is raining outside and all of my thoughts drift away, My heart sinks, carrying my worries and failures.
I don't see the rain like I used to.

Often my home was full of love and plentiful meals, just splendid for rainy days like today.
But my slate is clean this morning, now my mind is muddied with angst and emotions escape through my eyes.

The cozy vibe has switched to being sullen. Memories appear that bring longing and pain. Many of the things I can't change.
Tapping on my windows reminds me that there is more to come.

Cars swish on the roads, enveloping the lives and movements of people living their lives,
As I am inside, battling my darkest thoughts as loneliness envelopes me.

I watch tv, yet everything tugs more on my heart strings. I hear a line and my mind now knows what I should have said.
I take a nap and I wake up feeling lost as if i woke up stranded in the middle of the sea. Regretting how I waisted such charming day.

A day to unwind, yet it has shown me the darkest sides of myself. My errors and my faults alike. Stuffed in the same category carelessly.
No self compassion is coming my way today, my furthest thought. Self Loathing is commanding this ship.

I step out to run to the market, my belly is on a different page. Motivating me to snap out of this rut.
This is when I remembered...

The feeling of the rain soaking my clothes, with nothing in my pockets. Laughing and feeling the rain hit my skin that fell directly from the sky,
How I felt alive and free, I usually was alone doing this so I, also, felt super-special too. Carefree and blissfully me.

My thoughts and short comings didn't control me. The moment did.
Dancing, laughing, and singing loud and proud looking up at the sky so God could hear me. Twirling around until I become dizzy,

The darkness of the day had no effect on me, just the rain drops coming down, cooling the summers heat. steam floating in the air, the earth breathing before me.
I wanted to visit this little girl today. I wonder what she would say?

A grown woman looking for wisdom from her inner child. Yet, I can't help but to be curious of what she would say. How profound her words would mean to me.
I can see her now, speaking her words so effortlessly, as if she has lived this life before. Detached and fluid. Fearless and naive.

I can't imagine her words but I will follow her lead.
I tuck my cash in my shoe and step out into the rain uncovered.

Drops drip onto my face and I smile as I remember the sensation. Not annoyed or inconvenienced but ready and willing for these rains to pour.
I twirl and spin around, jumping up and down. Before I could think, I was laughing. A wide smile spreading from ear to ear.

I carried on for a while. Kicking puddles with my feet, singing and humming, laughing when I get out of tune.
Glances bounce off of me, my aura shielding my consciousness from the glares.

Of course, now I am drawing attention to myself because I am dripping wet, walking in the store and I am cold,
But my smile remains, my heart is still fluttering and now I can finally understand what my inner child would have said to me...



"Let go and cheer up.
Forget everyone and everything, even if just for a moment.
Be at one with your self and let nature guide you.
Let the rains cry for you, then laugh at how nothing changes within you.
Laugh at yourself, then no one can laugh at you."