I wake up, and look at the clock, I didn't set an alarm because I figured I would be waking up way before noon. Which is the case, I realize that it is only 9:00, I think about setting the alarm for 10:30 and trying to go back to sleep for another hour and a half. I have no clue what time I finally fell asleep last night, I was tossing and turning, and my meditation music was working on my nerves. I knew I couldn't turn it off though, because I know from trying in the past to go to sleep without it that it drives me even more batty without it. It is so funny how you can become so accustomed to something, to the point that you can't function without it. I was never one to listen to any type of noise to fall asleep, then I started with a fan for white noise and then I read about meditation music and the rest is history. I find it very odd too that I don't remember having any dreams last night, and I thought for sure I was going to have an abundant amount of dreams. I just wasn't sure if they were going to be good or bad, I figured maybe an assortment of both, but there were none. None that I remember anyway, which to me is a good thing because I would just be stressing out over the bad ones and thinking they might happen. I'm nervous about the whole date, worrying about the normal dumb stuff like what if I run out of things to say, what if I make a fool out of myself by doing something stupid, you know all the normal first date worries. Then I have some Sophie worries in there like, what if I laugh and pee my pants, what if when I talk a spit bomb shoots out my mouth, or if I sneeze I have a booger hanging out my nose that I am unaware of. In case you are wondering a spit, bomb is that little bit of spit that comes flying out of your mouth while you are talking. Gross but I know it has happened to everyone, it is even worse when you are on the receiving end, especially if it is a gross person that is talking to you. I decide I won't set my alarm but just chill out in my bed for a while, I flip on my television in my bedroom and find my favorite channel. I might as well relax and spend some time with Brandi, she will be lost, it is not very often that mommy goes out for a long period of time on the weekends. I am sure that she seriously doesn't give a rat's ass that I am not there, if I feed here before I leave. I decide I won't feed her first thing this morning, and that is the reason she is on the floor looking up at me like, excuse me. But I will feed her closer to the time I am leaving that way she won't be hungry if I get home later than I expect to be home. I still wonder what he has planned for today, it is driving me crazy. I really don't like surprises, I feel like I am unprepared if that makes any sense. I don't like getting gifts either, I would rather give than receive, I mean when I get gifts I like it, but on Christmas and my Birthday I don't like to be the center of attention. At Christmas I always try to open my gifts while someone else is opening theirs that way not everyone is watching me. The things I think about sometimes, thoughts from the abyss just come flying into my head with no rhyme or reason. I swear I have some sort of disorder, but they haven't diagnosed it yet. I'm glad though that the weather is cooperating with us today, I just seen the weather for our area on the TV and it looks like it is going to be sunny and a high of 73. Holy shit the weather man was right, it is a miracle, maybe a sign that today will be a positive and happy day. Possibly even the start of something good and long lasting, I hope it is I really don't want to keep on doing this dating bull shit. I think that if this falls through I will give up dating until I turn 60, then maybe it would be easier. I know they have created a woman robot that one can buy, and it can be your companion, maybe by the time I turn 60 or even before they will invent a male robot with working anatomically correct body parts then I won't need to go through all the dating bullshit. That would replace B.O.B., the Battery- Operated Boyfriend, nice way of saying dildo. Wonder what the robot would be called? Well it looks like Brandi got sick of sitting on the floor staring at me, she decided to jump up next to me and ask for some loving. I start to pet her, and she crawls up on my stomach and lays down facing me, her little motorboat purring is kicking in. She is such an awesome companion, I don't know how I managed before I had her. I guess it's just that I had no clue what I was missing, I mean for a short time I had a fish, but that isn't really a pet. I was really upset though the day I came home from work and he was floating, it's so odd because he seemed perfectly fine that morning when I fed him. I really felt guilty flushing him down the toilet too, it just seems so wrong. But I wasn't going to find an area around our apartment complex to dig a hole and bury Gill. That was when I decided to go to the shelter and see what they had there, I wanted to take a step up. I was leaning towards a cat, kitten, or a rabbit. I wasn't sure of the dog policy here and I didn't want to go that far, because of living alone and on the occasions when I would work late if I wasn't home in time to take the dog out. So, I decided on Brandi the moment I laid eyes on her, and I'm glad I did. Wow, this show is ridiculous. They are talking about a guy that was killing women, violently killing them almost overkill. After they were dead he would rape them, what kind of sick mind does a person like that have to have. What would even possess someone not only to take someone's life and in such a violent way, but then rape them after they were dead. Good God there are some unbelievably disturbed people in this world. I wonder though how they can tell during the autopsy that the women were raped after they had been dead. That I must admit is another thing that amazes me, how far we have come with DNA testing and forensics. That is such an awesome thing, because now a days it is hard to get away with this shit, and they catch the mother fuckers not like years ago when people would get away with it. But again, this story brings me back to that young girl driving for Uber. This shit is the exact shit that I meant about her being alone and not knowing who the fuck she is going to be picking up. No shit, this is no joke now a days, seriously. I wonder if I should give my parents a call, I am worried that if I don't my mom may try to call me. Weekends are my usual call my parents’ days, or maybe I could wait until tomorrow. Maybe that would be the better option, because then I will know if the date went well and I can tell her about Warren or not. I will shoot her a short text just to let her know I will call her tomorrow and that I have plans today with a friend. That's all she needs to know for now, I am sure she will wonder who the friend is she knows I only associate pretty much with Janet at work. But then at least I can say if the date turns out badly that it was Janet that I went out with. As I texted my mom I realized that it is only going on 10:00, oh my God can the time go any slower. I am getting very anxious, I want to get up and get ready for this date. I wonder if he is a good driver, I mean the guy did run in the back of me at a red light. Ok here you go again, stop thinking. Just sit here and enjoy your television shows or get up and start to get ready. I think the idea of getting up and getting ready isn't such a bad idea. I mean it is going to take more time than it normally does, today is a special day, where I put a little more effort into my hair and makeup. I turn off the tv and fix the bed, head out to feed Brandi who has beaten me into the kitchen. I give her some treats to hold her over and tell her she will have to wait a little longer for her food but agree to give her a little extra. I decide to pop at least a piece of bread into the toaster and grab a can of soda with caffeine. I don't feel like making a whole or half a pot of coffee because at the most I will only drink 2 cups. I eat my toast and carry the soda with me back to the bathroom. Now to find all the equipment I need to get ready. I search high and low for my curling iron, I know for a fact I have one, but I don't remember where I put it, it has been so long since I last used it. I finally find it on the top shelf in my closet over top of my hanging clothing, why in God's name did I put that in there. Oh well I found it that is the important part. I have long hair, it almost goes down to my waist, it is a dirty blonde to light brown. I am wondering if I should pull them into a pony tail or just let them loose, I decide to pull them up that way they will not be in the way. Next is to hunt down my makeup which I find still in the one drawer in my bathroom. I look at the objects and wonder if this stuff has an expiration date and make a mental note to buy new stuff and throw out this older stuff in case it does indeed have an expiration. I begin to hope that I don’t end up with some horrible rash because this shit is out dated. Well too late now it’s either use it or go without. I jump in the shower and begin the job of trying to make myself beautiful, ok not beautiful presentable. It’s not like I am a miracle worker or a plastic surgeon I can’t perform a miracle like that in the time I have, I laugh at myself. |