I go into my bedroom and grab my clothing I had pulled out last night to wear to work today, and then I go to get into the shower. This is kind of nice to have the extra time to not have to rush around and I have some time to do some things that I would have to normally do when I got home from work. Plus, I can take my time and get ready for work. But that does not mean this girl is going to be setting her alarm early so that I can do this every day, fuck that. It is nice for a change, you know one of those things that you don't plan on happening but when it does it is nice, and you enjoy it, but you wouldn't want to have to do it all the time. I come out of the bathroom and see that I still have about a half an hour until I need to leave, so I grab myself another cup of coffee, and fill my travel mug with the rest. I go over and decide to turn on the local news, that is another thing I tend to steer clear of. I am all for the television shows that are made from news, but I do not like watching the news it is downright depressing. I mean seriously how often do you see happy things on the news? The only happy things that I remember ever seeing on the news, was broadcasted on the local tv station in my area. They show on a weekly basis animals from local shelters that are up for adoption. But even that is kind of sad, because what if no one adopts them? In my defense, true the television shows are based on true crime stories that did indeed happen as news at some point in time. But they happened they are not currently happening like what is on the news or in the newspaper. I don’t know I guess I find it easier because they are already solved and happened in the past it makes it a little easier for me to watch. Well that's my defense and I am sticking to it I think to myself. I truly am a mess, these thoughts and little arguments and debates I have inside my head. The conversations with either myself or with the enemy are they even normal? Hell, I have no clue, but I do know one thing for sure, I am not about to go to the doctor and ask that question. I don't want them to say, “oh of course it is”. Then they use some secret code with the nurse who sneaks out of the room and is back in an instant with the pretty white jacket with straps. No thank you. I made it this far without trying one of those on and I really am planning on steering clear of ever having to. I sit on the couch and finish up my coffee and I say to Brandi, "enough of this, I can't take anymore killings, and robberies and car crashes. I am going to leave a few minutes early and enjoy my drive in." I grab my things and head out, I think to myself that this is a smart idea, it isn't my car and I know how my drive to work normally is. I really don't need to risk wrecking the rental car that Mr. Davenport's insurance is so kindly paying for. I am not a person who obeys speed limits, I am not a careless driver, but I am a fast driver. Of course, I have a defense here too. My defense for speeding is this, “it is harder to hit a moving object, so the faster I go the harder it is to catch me and hit me”. Case in point, I was stopped at a red light when Warren hit me. I so far have a good driving record, I always remain on alert for all the other idiots driving out there. That's another thing too, why in the world do they call it road rage? I am sorry I have nothing against the road it's the assholes driving on the road, so in my book it's called asshole rage. I mean seriously doesn’t asshole rage have a better ring to it. The ride in this morning was actually very nice, even though the sun isn't out. I got to hear at least two of my favorite songs on the radio, which I realize I haven't done in a while. Now I am thinking that is because I am probably too tightly wound on my drives to even be noticing what is being played on the radio. Wow, I think why I am just now noticing all these things that I don't remember noticing before. This is just getting very strange, and it is beginning to worry me that maybe I should make that doctor's appointment sooner rather than later. Oh well, let's see how I am feeling in about a week or so, I will probably be back to my normal self again. I park the car and walk into work. Of course, I am the first one there, I like it when I'm the first one in. It gives me time to build myself up to be my public Sophie. You know that my being friendly to some people I must face at work 5 days a week really doesn’t come too easy for me. There are a few here that it takes all my practice at being nice and sociable while inside I am wanting so badly to just punch them in the face and just tell them that I'm sorry there was a bug. Then just walk away like nothing happened. Oh, that would feel so much better, be much easier and come naturally than having to pretend they are your friend. |