packs of camels

I began smoking two years ago.


My appeal to cigarettes has always been taboo.
It’s scary to think that it seems romantic to me.
All it takes is a nice, long,
Puff or two
To feel the “buzz”.


That “buzz” melts away any anxiety, depression, or loneliness I felt.
And as time passed, the number of empty Camels increased.
I became more comfortable with myself, yet more of an outcast within my circle.
I had hidden my secret for so long, and so well, that I found myself wondering,

“Am I Really That Different From Them?”

My friends are more righteous than I am.

“Drugs, alcohol, smoking...never.”

And how do I respond?

“I know right, me too.”

Yet that loneliness goes away,
because every sidewalk, trashcan, street, crosswalk, park
I find at least one used cigarette.

Which means
One more person
Like me.