It Was Time

As my eyes followed the funeral car that took you away from me, I felt a deepening sorrow within me; a sorrow too deep, a heart breaking in several pieces, a heart drowning in tears within my soul. Why have you left me?

He smiled and felt his whole being burning. He searched the deck, his heart naked with fear. He started to blame himself for not rising up early. He thought there was time, time to plan how to approach you. There was that short conversation with her before people boarded the ship. He could not let her get away. He must find her, now, and he knew if he missed her his life was going to be a nothing; a nothing as his Dad used to tell him when he was angry at him.

He half-ran, half-pushed his way through passengers who managed to slow-walk. But he was in such a hurry, his heart began to beat fast against his breast. He told himself he should have gotten up when he thought of her. He began to quick-walk, half-run, his heart jumped almost to his throat. He could not have missed her. It was a bit too soon for her to have left already. As he tried to out-run the group of three ladies who blocked his sight of the passengers ahead of him, he almost but oddly enough did not bump against one of the trio ladies slow-walking a mere foot from him. He said "sorry" with such breath-taking run that the trio of the three women just gigled at his disappearing back.

And there she was, drinking coffee with another passenger. They were both Asians, talking to each other as if they were about to separate, go their own way. He heard the one girl say, "thanks for your company"; yes, she was the girl he had conversation with just before passengers were announced to board the ship. He stopped as the two shook hands and bade each other goodbye.

She sat at one of the empty tables, and ordered a cup of coffee. He was suddenly smiling; happy to have reached her side as he bade her a brave 'good morning'. She turned to him, obviously not too certain whether or not to talk to him again. After all, just before passengers were allowed to take the short steps to board, she was asking him questions that he was not able to answer truthfully. There was that order from his troop captain that prevented him from replying to her searching questions. And he believed, she was wanting answers to her questions: how did you get here? who are you and where do you come from? why are you here? Those were questions he understood but he was unable. to answer truthfully because of the number one rule of the troop: do not reveal who you are; what you are doing in the island; and many more questions that he thought may force him to answer her questions. And he was too quiet, and he gave answers that he supposed may have made her more curious about him.

That was the beginning of his life with her.