not a good time to take vacation...

Apparently, May 2024 is not a good time to take vacation with family in the heartland. Funny how we see through “rose colored” glasses without knowing our view is distorted. I was thinking “happy family times.” Nothing was happy about this trip.

When we met up in Charlotte, my sister (YLO) and dad were sitting at the gate, lined up side-by-side in two wheel chairs, she was glaring. Dad, well, he was just being himself---jovial and fun-loving. He turned 90 last March and has dementia (induced by head trauma received in a car wreck as a teenager). He’s always smiling and mischievous.

Until this trip, I thought it was difficult being dad’s caregiver. Well, now I believe my sister needs to move on----go back to whatever it was she was doing before she started caring for our dad. She’s not happy taking care of him and it’s obvious as you watch the way she treats him with contempt and blatant disrespect.

My sister smokes and is a self-proclaimed alcoholic. Smoking means a lot to her. She is always looking forward to that next cigarette, and she also likes being with others who have the same habits.

When in a non-smoking rental vehicle, she throws caution to the wind and smokes---rolling all the windows down, then rolling them up when it’s time to light-up again. The comfort of other passengers in the vehicle means nothing to her. Her sole focus is on getting another cigarette and getting away with smoking in a non-smoking rental vehicle.

She likes to sit in the outside pool area at the hotel surrounded by like-minded smokers and drinkers, and she expects dad and I to enjoy being right there with her. If we don’t share her enthusiasm, something must be wrong with us.

Dad doesn’t swim anymore; so, he’s sitting there hot and encircled by smoke. While all my sister is focused on is herself.

It all came to a head when we were in the hotel room on May 26 as she was making plans for all of us to come out to her daughter’s house (which she is currently moving out of) to sit around in a garage, smoking and drinking together. I guess that’s what they call great fun in Delphi, Indiana.

I opted not to go; and instead of going on ahead without dad and I, she wanted us there with her. And, instead of leaving us the vehicle, she was opting to drive out there herself and spend the night if she drank too much.

The whole trip was about YLO and what she wanted. Dad and I were supposed to be supportive and just deal with the fall out.

When I told her I didn’t want to go and that if I had transportation, I would be going home early. Furiously, she ran over to where I was sitting on the edge of the bed and got right in my face, pointing her finger at me. That’s when an altercation began as she wagged her finger at me, I grabbed it.

Dad didn’t want to go sit around in a garage either, that too was unsatisfactory. Apparently she has some sort of "hold" on dad and he is not allowed to make any decisions for himself.

Then she leaned all her body weight upon me. I raised my legs up under her and kicked her away, telling her if she stuck her finger in my face again, I would break it off and hand it to her.

She said, You kicked me in the stomach. And I said, Yes, I did. I was in fear for my life. You’ve told me about beating up boyfriends to within an inch of their lives. If you lean all your weight on me like that again, I will kick you out the window.

That’s when I repacked my suitcase. In my mind, I could no longer stay in this deteriorating situation but needed to head home. After packing up, I rolled my suitcase down to the lobby and made arrangements for an Uber, and headed toward Indianapolis International Airport.