Taxes

"No really, Sir, I don't owe any taxes this year."

"That's ridiculous, Thomas Jones. According to our records you made thirteen million dollars last year."

"No, there must be some mistake. I've been sick and staying with my elderly mother all last year - I couldn't have worked if I'd wanted to."

"Are you saying your income was zero for tax year 2023?"

"Yes."

"That's hard to believe. I have your W2 right here in front of me."

"I'm sorry, sir, but there must be some mistake, as I just said. What social security number do you have for me?"

"XXX-XX-XXXX. Is that right?"

"No no no! That's not me! My social security number is XXX-XX-XXXX, not XXX-XX-XXXX! I told you there was a misunderstanding. You have the wrong Thomas Jones."

"But your address and phone number are correct…"

"Well, I'm not paying someone else's taxes. I told you I didn't work last year. I'm going online and filing a no-income form, and I get a phone call telling me that's not accurate. The nerve!"

"I'm sorry. It's just that a no income filing is highly unusual. How did you pay your bills last year?"

"With my life savings!"

"We'll see what can be done, Mr Jones. But the deadline is getting closer, and if we do get this ironed out you may have to pay a late filing fee."

"I'm getting a headache."

"If you don't get a call back from us in three weeks, be sure to call the IRS number and see how your case is going. Judging by our backlog, we may not have this straightened out until the next tax year is due."

"Oh, what a pain…"

Word count: 281.

(Prompt: You explain to the IRS that you don't have to pay taxes.)