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Come for the science, stay for the fun |
Quirkon directed his thoughts to the scientist visiting their craft in orbit above Earth. “Welcome Zix. I will cheerfully give you a complete tour. Please keep in mind we have been studying this planet for some 200 revolutions around the star we call YS369. So we’ve amassed great amounts of data and are nearly ready to return home. Now, follow me please.” “Here we have our information processing facility. Unfortunately, we are still using the old nano-quantum devices so performance is a bit slow. All our equipment will be updated before our next assignment.” “I fully understand,” Zix thoughtfully responded. “What’s next?” As they approached another compartment, Quirkon mused. “This large area is where we analyze bodily systems unfamiliar to us. For example, many species here have what they call teeth. They use them to cut and crush their food sources before digestion. We, of course, don’t need such tools since we obtain our nutrition either through inhaling our ship’s atmosphere or by licking each other.” “Of course,” agreed Zix. “Now this next room looks quite interesting. There’s very little scientific machinery to be seen. It seems more furnished for image generation and recording. What are you doing here?” “Well, we used to do serious anal probes here. You know, to better understand the many different methods the various creatures use to maintain health. Also, we wanted to explore the evolutionary adaptations in some species.” “You no longer do this?” inquired Zix. “Oh yes, we still do lots of needless probing. Though actually,” radiated Quirkon, expressing a note of amusement, “now we just enjoy watching them try to explain the probes to the scientists, military and media. It’s way more entertaining than their reality TV. Would you like to see?” |