Soup
Jan 13th
They searched for him both high and low,
and hither, thither, yon,
The search teams looked most everywhere,
all day and through till dawn.
His wife served up some steaming broth,
to this exhausted group.
Straight-faced she said she feared the worst:
"I think he's in the soup."
Doors
Jan 25th
Apply the make-up but don't use too much
Sparingly add with the lightest of touch
Camouflage bruises with brushes and pen
Check in the mirror again and again
Walk down the high street, imagining stares
Friends' awkward silences so hard to bear
"Keep up appearances" - that's what you swore
Hide all your secrets behind the closed door.
Opinions
Feb 17th
I HAVE OPINIONS ABOUT THINGS!!!!!
I read this morning's papers and I see they're back again;
those "experts" with their viewpoints on the war inside Ukraine.
While others talk of climate change, and how King Charles is ill,
the price of tea in China and of coffee in Brazil.
I log into the comments - there's no-one I won't berate.
I sit there in my old armchair and quickly set them straight!
From politics to covid jabs, from space probes to football,
unfettered by experience, I proudly know it all.
January
Feb 23rd
Oh t'was on the sixteenth day of January,
a day that will go down in our nation's history.
In the Year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and sixty-four,
a date that will be engraved in our nation's fokelore.
In commemoration of one David Ryan's birth,
an event that did engender considerable mirth.
And the midwife did say, in a voice filled with awe:
"That's the ugliest little bugger that I ever saw!"
(In the style of Sir William Topaz McGonnagall, Knight of the Order of the White Elephant of Burmah)
Fear
Mar 6th
When I'd see someone laughing while looking at me -
when I'd see the girls talking, eyes shining with glee -
my pulse would start racing, eyes pricking with tears,
just dreading their next move, just frozen with fear.
It was hard for a young boy to wear women's clothes,
spend each day in a girdle and hope nothing shows.
Though I tried to be strong, just as strong as could be,
the fear of exposure was stronger than me.
Cling
Apr 21st
(I promised to stop doing autobiographical stuff...but this prompt! )
Wincing, I'd get dressed for school
Then I'd set off for the bus
Bracing for another day
Trying not to make a fuss
Time would crawl and I'd go mad
Panty girdle killing me
Day's end: rush home to undress
Oh such pleasure, to be free!
Empty
Jul 2nd
An empty ode? Now let me think...
There was that time...no...that's no good
That could kick up an awful stink
Must keep it clean, best not be rude
I guess I could...nuh-uh...no way
Nor that tale either...this is tough
I've no idea what to say
To hell with it, I've had enough
Road Signs
Jul 3rd
I'D TURN BACK IF I WAS YOU
The message was quite stark
My dears, this simply would not do
I had to stop and park
I made the change without ado
In hope I'd be instructive
I'D TURN BACK IF I WERE YOU
And VIVA THE SUBJUNCTIVE!
Vincent van Gogh
Jul 17th
In Britain, they say of Vincent van Goff
that he was the guy who cut his ear off.
While across the Atlantic, Vincent van Go
is an artist that everyone is bound to know.
The French all will talk of Vincent van Gog,
whose artwork is bound to leave you agog.
But the Dutch shake their heads, while crying out "Och!
Why can't all these people say Vincent van Gogh?"
Pursuit
Jul 26th
Round and around and around we go.
When will it stop? No-one can know.
That tail is always in my eyeline,
but I never catch the damned swine.
A last big surge will surely do it!
One more sprint then I can chew it.
Though after all these many failed tries,
maybe I should try it clockwise? |