Midnight Cold Calling

It was the middle of the night, Joseph was just settling down to marathon his favourite series when there was a knock at the front door. Annoyed, he answered to find a door-to-door salesman.

The man stood with a typical smile, and a catalogue under his arm. "Happy night, sir. Are you the Homo Nocturnus of this residence?"

"I'm the vampire of the house, yes." Joseph didn't understand why some people didn't like using that word.

The salesman brought the catalogue out and started flipping through the pages. "My name's Vladimir Benedict. I'm here selling caskets and was wondering if you'd be interested?" As he finished, he held the catalogue out for Joseph to look at.

In fact, he wasn't interested. He would rather be watching Bloody Moonlight, but his current coffin was wearing out, so he decided to have a look. There were a few nice ones that were, of course, out of his price range.

Looking over the options, he found a decent looking one that was just cheap enough. "I kinda like Number 6."

Vlad didn't even have to look. "An excellent choice. If you'd like, you can choose the wood free of charge. There's maple, oak, cherry, and elm."

Joseph didn't really get the difference between the woods, all he cared about was that it worked. "I'll have the regular type, thanks."

"Very well, sir. You should have the casket delivered by month's end." He pulled out a business card and wrote something on it. "If there's any problems, please feel free to call."

Joseph took the card. Before he closed the door, Vlad offered for him to keep the catalogue and peruse it in his spare time.

He agreed just to get rid of him and closed the door. Flipping through some pages, he found a bunch of stuff for lycanthropes. Some for wererats, some for werebears, and a collar he thought would be a nice anniversary gift to surprise his weretiger of a husband.

He flung the door open and called Vlad back. "Sorry, I was wondering about this collar?"

He took a look and smiled. "Oh, that's a wonderful choice amongst our lycanthopian customers."

Joseph was willing to bet everything was popular. "Is it possible to get this with tiger stripes?"

Vlad seemed to think about that. "Well, I'm pretty sure you could, but it would cost extra."

'Damn.' Joseph thought to himself. 'That would use up the rest of my rainy-day money. Screw it.' Joseph added the collar to his order and called it a night.

Vlad smiled and pulled out a notebook that Joseph hadn't notice. After writing down the extra order he looked back at Joseph. "Is there anything else you'd like before I leave?"

He flipped through the catalogue, giving it a quick once over. "No, that'll be it for now."

"Very well, sir. Have a happy night, and I hope to hear from you again soon." He then walked away.

Taking a look at the card, he saw it had "#673" written on it, most likely a reference number. He put the card down and went back to what he was doing.