Jerky Jaunts

Mmmfphf…too cold…where’s the blanke-huh?

“Ah!”

Gravity taunted my, possible, demise as I clung desperately onto the scrawny but sturdy branch. Shivering from the cold, I realized I was draped upon it rather gracelessly naked; save for my boxer shorts.

What the hell happened last night?

I peered down, warily, through the clump of leaves at what was supposed to be a campsite. Empty beer cans and snack bags lay littered around the dying embers of a fire. The camp chairs were still there, but in different states of disarray; as if the people once sitting on them had left in haste.

I squeezed my eyes shut as it all came rushing back to me.

Jack, Alicia, and I had come here to celebrate our final days as seniors. It seemed fitting we’d spend the weekend reminiscing high school memories and getting as wasted as possible. The party had picked up sometime close to midnight, and I remembered that Jack and I had taken off our clothes to take a dip in the nearby lake when –

Puurr

My lashes flew open.

There it was! The sound that had us all bolting for our lives. I peered down again, with dismay, for lying in front of Alicia’s tent was our special guest; a rather majestic mountain lion, who might have eaten my buddies for all I knew. Without thinking, I reached for my phone-

Stupid. You’re only in your boxers, remember?

So, where the hell was it?

The lion sat up, but only to switch positions, and there it was; my precious device stuck beneath its tail. Great. How was I going to get to it or be rescued?

Salvation came in the form of something black dangling before me. It was my backpack! I must have grabbed it in my attempt to escape. With a grunt, I tugged it closer to me and dug through it, frantically, for anything to distract the lion.

Yes! Beef jerky!

Don’t know if lions liked that sort of thing, but there was no harm in trying, was there? I tore the pack open, but trembling hands were too clumsy and the jerky – which I had intended to throw as far away from me as possible – ended up clustered at the bottom of the tree!

Not good.

The lion perked up and made its way slowly toward the pieces of dried beef. As it sniffed with curiosity, I tried my best to descend in the opposite direction without drawing too much attention. With my feet barely on the ground, I would finally notice my friends hiding behind a cluster of rocks; desperately motioning for me to join them.

I dashed in their direction, just as I sensed the lion begin to lose interest in the jerky. Together we headed straight for Jack’s truck; neither of us speaking until we were safe on the highway, where relief would come in the form of helpless giggles all for a moment we’d treasure for the rest of our lives.






Word Count: 500


Prompt ▼

Written for: "The Bard's Hall Contest" 
After a night of camping and enjoying drinks with friends, you wake up in a tree. and nobody's left where the campfire was.
How did you get up the tree?
How do you get down from the tree when you see the Mountain Lion lying in the shade below?
Your cellphone is on the ground next to the mountain lion.