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Rated: E · Fiction · Fantasy · #2317640
Keep calm and carrot on!
Captain Thumper scowled at the heap of crumbled metal steaming in the crater of dirt. He pulled off his helmet, allowing two long ears to bounce out.

“I told you not to get so close to this planet’s gravitational pull, Ensign!” the Captain sighed. He hopped closer to what used to be their ship and kicked a rock into the pit with one bare, hairy foot. The heat from the crash singed his face and he quickly bounced backwards into a patch of bright green grass.

“I’m so sorry, Captain,” Ensign Flopsy moaned. “There was a sudden fluctuation with the hyperspace data crystal and…and…”

Captain Thumper placed a fuzzy paw on the Ensign’s shoulder. “We all make mistakes, Ensign. This boo-boo, however, is a pretty big one. I assume our communication beacon has been destroyed—”

A sudden boom from the hole and a cascade of dirt exploded over the two travelers.

“I guess that answers that question,” the Captain grumbled, brushing dust off his white fur.

“I can build another beacon, if we can find the parts.” Flopsy said with a little shrug. “That is, if this planet isn’t too primitive?” Flopsy’s nose twitched as she glanced around to examine the field of green that surrounded them. In the distance stood a wall of evergreen trees, a creek gently flowed through the trees and into the field. She frowned at a bee landing on a flower.

“There doesn’t appear to be any signs of intelligent life.” Thumper said.

“Perhaps the Lifeform Detection Module would be of use?” Flopsy suggested, pulling out a small device from a pocket in her suit. “We can use it to scan for sentient beings.”

“What else do you have in those pockets, Ensign?” Captain Thumper narrowed his eyes.

Flopsy blushed. “Nothing else, sir. I just happened to have the LDM on me before we crashed.”

“Well, at least it’s something,” Thumper growled. “Turn it on, then, Ensign. It looks like this planet’s sun is drooping. I’d like to find a safe place to hunker down before we lose the day.”

Flopsy flipped a switch and twisted a knob. From the corner of her eye she caught the Captain impatiently swatting away a fly. She quickly pushed a few buttons and then aimed the device to the north. Nothing. South and east were also dead-ends. Darkness was pushing away the light as she carefully pointed the LDM towards the west and caught a beep.

“That way,” Flopsy said, relieved, and pointed toward the west. “I’m reading three sentient life signs.”

“Hopefully they’re not hostile,” Thumper grumbled. “That would just be icing on the carrot cake, captured by hostile aliens. Are you sure you didn’t sneak a ray gun in that pocket of yours, Ensign?”

“Sorry, sir. I didn’t have time to grab one.”

Thumper rubbed his whiskers. “Well then, if the pellets hit the fan we’ll just have to fight our way out the old fashioned way, with teeth and claws.”

The steady beep of the LDM led them across the field to a wide, black, unmoving river that reeked of sulfur.

“Suspicious,” Captain Thumper said, placing a wary paw on the unyielding surface.

“I think it’s a trail.” Flopsy bravely hopped forward. “Possibly for a large predator.” She gulped and pointed to the carcass of some poor animal smeared on the path.

“Move quickly, then, Ensign,” Thumper urged. The two sped across the dangerous trap and ducked into some prickly bushes to catch their breath.

“Not much farther, sir.” The LDM was beeping more intensely. The two crested a small hill to find a structure filled with glowing light. Flopsy turned off the device and slipped it back into her pocket while Thumper nervously tapped the ground with one long foot.

“My instinct says we shouldn’t draw the life forms attention. Instead, we’ll do a bit of recon. Perhaps these beings will have the tools and materials we need to build that beacon and we could just…borrow what we need.”

Flopsy twitched an ear. “Y-yes, sir!”

They moved cautiously down the hill and crept around the building.

“Another structure,” Captain Thumper hissed. Flopsy nodded and pointed to a hole in the building that they could squeeze through. Thumper pressed through first. Flopsy was close at his heels when there was a savage growl and her captain squealed and was jerked forward.

“Captain!” Flopsy shrieked. Lurching forward, she lashed out at a giant shadow that was shaking Thumper like a ragdoll. Her claws made contact and the beast yelped and dropped the captain. She grabbed Thumper by the scruff of his neck and dragged him behind an old barrel. The ferocious beast followed, nose snuffing against the ground, until it had them cornered. She growled and had smacked the creature’s snout, causing another satisfactory whimper from the beast, when a light suddenly blinded her. Before she could take another swipe with her claws, she found herself firmly in the grasp of a strange alien.

“H*fv),3ghbm?”

The alien spoke complete gibberish but there was something comforting in its tone. Flopsy tried to twist away but the alien held tight. The shadow beast moved closer and sniffed at her tail.

“P9+de!” the alien shouted, kicking the threat away. Flopsy felt a twinge of trust start to grow…until she found herself dropped into and locked behind impenetrable wire. She shook the cage, nipping at the metal and searching for a weakness until a voice startled her from her wild attempt to escape.

“That’s enough, Ensign!”

Flopsy turned, wide-eyed, to find Thumper in a cage beside her. “Captain! You’re alive!

“Of course I am,” Thumper huffed.

“And…you’re smiling!” she gasped. She’d never seen him look so happy.

“Indeed, Ensign. We have these aliens right where we want them. They’ve fallen into my trap!”

“Sir?”

“My strategy may be hare-brained, but it’ll work. Trust me.” Thumper's grin was almost unnerving.

“I always have, sir,” Flopsy swallowed hard. “Just tell me what to do.”

Thumper winked. “Here’s the plan…”




Down the rabbit hole
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