18. Find Nina

“Bel. Bel. Open your eyes.”

“You have to go find Nina.”

Bel has been saying the same thing, over and over since Kam half-dragged, half-carried him into the empty warehouse. Kam has no idea how clean this place actually is; but it’s dry, and it’s empty, and that’s what counts for now.

They drove until it was dark, and would have kept going if Bel hadn’t started to slump in his seat. When Kam glanced at him, and saw the color of Bel’s face, he pulled over.

“You gonna tell me how bad it is?”

“No…” Bel’s voice was hoarse with pain. “Don’t stop…just drive.’

“Bel—”

“No hospitals, Kam.”

“That’s a given.” It’s damn stupid, but it’s a given. “But—”

“Kam. Just drive.”

It started to rain. Kam drove until he saw a side road, and then followed that side road to an empty warehouse. He parked the car behind it.

“You think up a good lie to tell me?” Kam is only half-serious.

Bel lifts his head with an effort. “Not funny, Kam.”

His head is lolling on his shoulders and his face is colorless, slick with sweat. His eyes—those beautiful innocent baby brown puppy eyes—keep shifting in and out of focus. Kam lets go of him long enough to close the car door and Bel sways. His feet don’t seem to want to work properly.

“Lean on me.” Kam didn’t need to say the words, but talking to the kid made him feel better. If he was talking, he could drown out the shallow breath coming from those pale lips, and he didn’t have to think about the blood that was staining both his clothes and Bel’s.

So much blood.

So damn much blood.

Not just from the slash in Bel’s forearm, but from a perfectly round hole high up on Bel’s left shoulder.

When Kam had heard that pop-pop-pop, and Bel had said he was fine, Kam believed him. Believed him until they were in the car and Bel had started to droop, setting off alarm bells inside Kam’s head.

“You said he missed.” Kam fought to keep his tone light, unconcerned, and his body relaxed. The only thing that gave him away were his knuckles, white because he was gripping Bel so tightly.

“I thought he did.” Bel’s voice was equally light, but the words slurred in a way that Kam didn’t like.

Because Bel’s attacker hadn’t missed.

Bel had lied to him.

Shit.

Just…shit.

“Let me help you take your jacket off.” Kam leans Bel against the interior wall of the warehouse, removing the blood soaked clothing as gently as possible.

One of Bel’s eyes is swelling shut, and the cut on his eyebrow is streaming, leaving a macabre painting down one side of his face. He doesn’t look like a feisty little puppy anymore. Now he looks like an abandoned stray.

“My dad was a spy,” Kam confesses so he can think about something else. Something other than the dark, viscous substance covering Bel’s jacket. “That’s what Silo and Talay told me today.”

“Oh yeah?” Bel would probably be more surprised if he was less of a bloody mess. “That makes sense, I guess.”

Bel’s knees buckle and he starts to slide down the wall. Kam’s hands tighten instinctively on Bel’s shoulders. Not tightly enough though, because Bel continues to slide, almost knocking the two of them over.

“Whoa, whoa, easy. Easy, Bel.”

“Ow…” It’s little more than a whimper, and just that one syllable out of Bel’s mouth feels like someone took a sledgehammer to Kam’s heart.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m sorry.” Kam readjusts his grip, trying to avoid putting unnecessary pressure on Bel’s injuries.

“It’s ok…Just let me sit.” Bel is already halfway down, so Kam helps ease him the rest of the way.

“Ok. Just sit against the wall.”

And that’s when he sees where the rest of the blood is coming from.

Not just the sleeve of Bel’s shirt, not just his shoulder. There’s blood on Bel’s side, too, soaking into the hem of his shirt and the top of his jeans.

“Shit.” Kam spits out the word, and it echoes through the empty warehouse. There is a puncture in Bel’s side, and while it isn’t pumping, there’s still blood.

Bel had been stabbed twice.

Shot once and stabbed twice.

Twice.

And he didn’t say anything.

“You lied to me.” Kam says it aloud, and Bel shakes his head.

“Didn’t want to worry you.”

“Oh yeah?” Kam rips off one of the sleeves from Bel’s blood soaked jacket. “How about now?”

“Sorry.” Bel’s eyelids are drooping.

“You stupid kid.” Kam wraps the jacket sleeve around the slash in Bel’s arm.

“Not adorable?”

“Don’t even try to be funny right now.” Now Kam’s voice is starting to shake as the lump in his throat expands, but he forces it down. Down, down, down.

“Is a little funny.” Bel’s voice is still hoarse, but steady. “Kam, you need to go find Nina. Don’t shake your head at me. Go find my sister.”

Kam doesn’t say anything. He rips off the other jacket sleeve and ties it around Bel’s shoulder. Not too tight, but enough to stop the bleeding.

Stop the bleeding.

Stop it, because this stupid kid is not going to die.

Bel will not die.

Not if Kam had anything to say about it.

He presses the remains of the jacket hard against Bel’s side. That makes Bel open his eyes again.

“Kam, you need to go find Nina.”

Stop talking, Bel.

“Kam.”

Stop talking.

“Kam.”

“Hmmm?”

Pressure.

Keep pressure on the wounds, and stop the bleeding.

Stop the bleeding, stop the bleeding, stop the bleeding.

“Did you hear what I said?”

Kam doesn’t raise his head. “Yes.”

“So will you go do it?”

“...Hmm.” There, he’d responded, so maybe now Bel would shut up. Shut up and let Kam get on with making sure Bel doesn’t bleed out.

“Does that mean you will or you won’t?”

Kam finally lifts his head, locking eyes with this stubborn, snarky adorable little boy. “Bel, please shut the hell up and let me stop the bleeding.”

“They’ll kill her, Kam.” Bel’s fingers are gripping Kam’s arms, leaving bloody streaks across his jacket sleeves. “They tried once and I won’t let them try again. You have to go find my sister. You have to. Please.”

‘Please’. Why in hell did you have to say ‘please’?

Kam’s heart squeezes, and he peels Bel’s fingers off his arm, wrapping them instead around the saturated cloth at Bel’s side. He presses his own hand over Bel’s, forcing the boy’s hand against the seeping wound.

“Where is she? Bel, don’t close your eyes, answer my question. Where is she?”

“Hotel…” There is a definite glaze over Bel’s eyes.

“Which hotel? Bel, which hotel is she staying at?”

“Don’t know...”

Kam’s jaw clenches. How the hell am I supposed to find her then?

Bel sighs. His body is listing to the side again, and this time Kam lowers him all the way to the ground. Bel is now lying on his back, with the remains of his ruined jacket under his head. Maybe the pressure of his body against the ground will stop the bleeding in his shoulder and forearm. But his side…

The blood on Bel’s side…

Dammit, there’s so much blood.

Kam shakes his head, pushing every negative thought to the back of his brain.
Focus Kam. Concentrate on what you can do, on what you can control, not what you can’t.

Then he gets an idea.

“Where’s your phone? Bel, open your eyes and tell me where your phone is.”

“Pocket…”

“Can you unlock it for me?”

“ Older phone…needs fingerprint…”

Kam pulls Bel’s phone out of his pocket. By some miracle it’s still intact. As soon as Bel’s phone is unlocked, Kam is able to open the proper app to find Nina’s location.

“Ok. I'll be back in a minute.” Kam is about to get to his feet, when another thought strikes him. “What if Nina won’t come? She can be twice as stubborn as you are.”

Bel’s lips move, but no sound comes out. Kam leans over him.

“Bel.”

“Don’t grab my face—that hurts!”

“I need you to look at me.” Kam increases the pressure of his fingers on either side of Bel’s jaw, trying to force him to stay conscious. “Answer the damn question. What if your sister won’t come with me?”

“Tinkerbell.” This time Bel speaks clearly, sounding not at all surprised at how ridiculous his answer sounds. “It’s what my dad called us when we were kids. I was Peter Pan, and Nina was Tinkerbell.”

Kam’s lips twitch in spite of himself.

How much more adorable can this kid get?

“Why aren’t you Tinkerbell?”

“I told you, ‘Bel’ is short for ‘Bellamy’. Family name on my dad’s side,” Bel’s eyes are closed again. “Can you please go find Nina now?”

Again with the ‘please’. Is the kid trying to rip Kam’s heart to shreds?

But Kam doesn’t have time to have thoughts like that right now. So he tries a snarky comment instead:

“Blood loss is turning you into a needy four-year-old.”

“Shut up.”

Kam reaches out, taking Bel’s other hand and setting it on top of the one already pressing down on his side.

“Press down hard. Use both hands to stop the bleeding.”

Kam makes himself pull the car keys from his pocket, makes himself walk to the entrance of the warehouse, makes himself glance back.

Only glance, don’t walk back to him.

Do what he asks you to do, Kam.

Find Nina.

“Don’t move.”

It’s a moronic thing to say. Kam knows it. Bel knows it. But Bel’s lips still curve up ever so slightly. He understands what Kam is not saying.

Don’t die.

“Kam—” Bel forces his eyes to focus. Another breath, one that’s surprisingly hard to take.

Force the words out, Bel. Say what you need to say.

Come on…

“Kam…”

“Yes?”

I love you.

I don’t want you to die either.

“…careful.”

Kam gives Bel a tiny smile in return. “Stay awake.”

"19. Tinkerbell" 

read from beginning "1. Phone Calls in the Dark"