Beep

Beep


‘Beep.’

It was elusive, a sound some might almost ignore. Still, there it was, somewhere in the house, like an old smoke detector on a low battery. It wasn’t constant, and would only ping intermittently, seldom enough, in fact, that I had a hard time localizing it.

At first, I thought it to be coming from somewhere outside. I even purposefully spent some extra time in my yard, just to make sure I wouldn’t miss it. Nothing. Not a ping, but when I stepped back inside, there it was.

‘Beep.’

An old Victorian, I’d bought the house because it sat atop the highest point in town, with ample view of the bay and the ocean just beyond it. The previous owner must have taken pretty good care of the place, despite a layer of dust, and it seemed more or less accurate to the period. Four bedrooms and two bathrooms were only updated with the simplest of modern conveniences. A fully stocked, floor to ceiling library was an extra bonus, and all of it wrapped in a classical exterior of finely painted gingerbread.

‘Beep.’

It became an irritating annoyance. I checked the smoke alarms, for which there were only two, replacing their batteries just to be sure. Honestly, they never made a peep, but my little reminder continued to wear on my nerves. Of course, I hardly slept, for just as I’d be on the verge, I’d hear the familiar beep which would bring me back to full alert again.

So, I developed a plan and decided to spend extended periods in each room, trying to localize the source. Beginning with the bedrooms, I worked my way downstairs. It certainly grew louder the closer I got to the first floor and toward the back of the house.

‘Beep.’

I searched the main level in vain until I noticed something peculiar about the wall between the kitchen and library. It was several feet thicker than it should have been. I reasoned there to be a cavity between the two. How to reach it, became the conundrum.

The choice came between breaking though the bare wall in the kitchen or breaking through the shelves in the library. I chose the former. So, with sledgehammer in hand, I busted through the lathe and plaster.

‘Beep!’

Much louder now, I peered into the blackened cavity. Only then, did I discover a secret door from the library side with a cable release leading to that room. The damage done, I climbed inside and found a tiny glowing object resting upon the floor. I blew the dust away to reveal strange illuminated symbols surrounding a central button. A flash and…

‘Beep!’

I pressed the button. “Stand by,” the little device said.

“Okay?”

Not long after, a tiny virtual man in a finely pressed uniform with a curled mustache materialized above the device. “Elminer B’akis?” the man asked.

“Uh, no,” I answered. “This is Barry.”

“Where is B’akis?” he wondered.

“I don’t know any Bakis. It’s, uh, just me - Barry.”

“This is highly irregular!” the man said. “Has he escaped? Did you help him?”

“Like I said, I don’t know any Bakis.”

“Well, this planet is slated for destruction and his sentence, commuted!”

“Sentence?” I wondered.

“Very harsh indeed – stranded without resources amongst a pre-warp society. Anyhow, we need him to prepare for extraction. This portal will transport him to a new apartment in the galactic capital, where he is permitted to begin a new life. Evacuation is requested before the planet is destroyed.”

Suddenly, an illuminated doorway formed before me, a totally different room on the other side.

“And by destroyed, you mean…?”

“The Earth and its system have been rezoned for an intergalactic waterpark. So, please, can you get Mr. B’akis for me?”

“And, by rezoned you mean totally destroyed?”

“I thought I was being clear,” he replied, irritated.

Then I realized, Elminer B’akis – Elmer Baker – the estate I’d bought the house from. He died; lived there for like a hundred years. Shame about that thing with the elephant.

“So, let me make sure I understand, the Earth is about to be destroyed and I should send Elminer Bakis through this portal thing here.”

“If you’d be so kind,” the man said.

“And he won’t die? He’ll get a new life on the other side?”

The man nodded.

“Ok. Will do,” I agreed. “I’ll send him right through.”

“Appreciations. Thank so much,” the man said, then flashed away.

So, I stepped through.