Call Me Joshua - 482 Words - due 3/11/24

Call me Joshua

Dearest Diary:          

You will not believe what happened today. As we were setting up the center circle in the Main Tent, William, the Human Cannonball, hurt himself when he pulled a groin muscle and was sent to the hospital for an emergency hernia operation. The worst news is that he will be out for six weeks and unable to perform his routine! Everyone stayed away from the Ring Master when he found out. Saying he was upset doesn't even come close.

No one could calm him down, and everyone tried. I certainly tried for over an hour, but the only thing he could do was swear and call me names because he was so upset. After I left, Murry, Murray, and JoJo, the Three Clowns, went in. At first, there was a loud yelling match; however, laughter and hooray were soon heard.

I was called back in, and I was offered William's job as the Human Cannon Ball! Me! I was so excited that I agreed immediately. I watch Willie always do his stunt, flying over everyone like a bird. I can't wait.

More tomorrow.

Dear Diary:

I began training to be the Human Cannonball. My first responsibility was to get fit for my new costume. Not to brag, but I looked spiffy, all sparkly and shiny. As I walked to the cannon, I received lots of compliments. It made my day.

I needed to be hooked up to the safety harnesses when I got to the cannon. It took longer than expected because they had to give me a special harness usually used for Elaine. Once I was hooked up, the seven men hoisted me up to the lip of the cannon for me to get in.

Oh, it's time for the Grand Opening Big Show. Wish me luck!

Diary:

I have never been so humiliated in my entire life. The Ring Master didn't offer me the job of the human cannonball because he thought I would be good at it. He wanted me to do it because it would be "funny" to watch, at least to some people.

Being the Heaviest Man Alive wearing a spandex outfit and trying to be stuffed into a cannon's nozzle is funny to some sick people. It wasn't amusing to me. Nor was it fun to have the cannon unable to hold my weight, so the top end lowered as I was stuck there.

It took five Round-a-bouts to pull me out, and to add to my humiliation, the clowns drove a tractor and wagon to get me out on the circle.

Diary:

The Ring Master and Three Clowns were fired for their idea and participation in my humiliation. A new Ring Master is here, and she is excellent. I am no longer called the Heaviest Man Alive. They now are using my name. I feel like a real person and not just a Side Show Attraction.


482 Words