A woman (me) reflects on her life ... past and present ... then and now. |
THEN AND NOW Then As a little girl, I was misunderstood making it hard to act as a child should happy, social, and eager to play just weren’t the normal parts of my day serious and shy, always hiding my face it was difficult at best to find that place where I felt accepted and part of the crowd not left out and muttering aloud what is wrong with me, why don’t I fit in why can’t I ever seem to win at this game called life which should have a rule that it’s not okay to be so cruel to sensitives like me who tend to cry tears of sadness in the blink of an eye I just wanted to be, like all the others out having fun along with my brothers but taking part was a very tough thing ‘cuz I never knew who’d be understanding many avoided me like they were afraid of how different I was; how uniquely I was made so I went it alone pretending all was okay, in my make-believe world where it was safer to play. Now Older and wiser; misunderstood still it’s hard to respond as most adults will to being social, well-adjusted, and eager to engage I still find it difficult, even at this age though somewhat less serious, I sometimes still hide my face and find it hard to locate a place where I feel accepted and part of the crowd not left out and thinking aloud after all these years, I still don’t fit in but at least now I know, it’s okay, I can win at this wild and crazy unpredictable ride with its ups and downs; I just have to decide will the status quo win or will I fight to escape from the darkness in search of the light the answer is easy, I’ll fight all the way when where I’m at isn’t a good place to stay I’ll open the door and step inside where deep down I know my soul will provide a way back to that girl who will play a big part in guiding this woman back to her heart and on to a path that will lead to such growth that she’ll finally learn how to love them both. LC: 74 |