The Ballad of Cowboy Jesus

Part 1: His First Miracle

The day was hot.
The sun was orange.
The blood dripped from his crown of thorns,
As he trekked his trail on down the dusty tracks.

He was dressed in black.
He was dressed to kill.
He would shoot his six-guns just for thrills,
Point `em up at the heavens
Yellin’, “Yeeeeeehaw!
The Savior is back!”

Well, he rode into town at about high noon,
And he walked inside of the ol’ saloon,
Spit in the spittoon,
Looked the barman in the eye,
Said, “I’m feelin’ mighty thirsty, and my mouth is real dry.”
Then the barman said back,
“I got no whiskey or wine,
Just a dirty old rag soaked in vinegar brine.”
But the Savior didn’t mind.
He just smiled and tipped his hat,
Walked back over to the doors,
By the spittoon where he spat,
Said, “If you’d please, Mr. Barkeep,
Can I have an empty glass?”
Then he dunked it down inside
Of that spittoon made of brass.
When he pulled it out again
It was full,
But not of spit.
That old glass was full of whiskey.
No one knew just how he did it.