"Merry Christmas, Baby"

"What. The heck. Is that?"

"What?"

"That thing drooling all over my couch!"

"Oh, that. It's an early Christmas gift."

"From...?"

"Well, um, from Emily. She left him in a basket on our doorstep."

"I knew it! I knew your old girlfriend would find a way to ruin our first Chistmas together! She just can't let you go, can she?"

"C'mon, babe! You know Emily and I are history. You're the only one I love. You're the one I married!"

"Then why would she give you that? She should have kept him to herself! There was no need for us to even know of his existence!"

"That's not fair, Melanie. Besides, he's kinda cute, don't you think? I mean, look at those eyes. Who could resist such a face?"

"Oh, suuure. And I bet you'll find cleaning up after him 'cute', as well."

"He's not that messy, Melanie."

"Take a big whiff."

"Oh."

"Yup. That's an eye-watering stench, eh? Anyway, have fun cleaning up after him for the next, oh, umpteen years. But, hey, at least he has irresistible eyes."

"Don't be so dramatic Melanie. It won't be that ba-- Oh, no! He's making noise. Look at the snot. And all those tears! How do I make it stop?"

"Don't ask me, dear. He's your present. I think I'll just go stay with my mom a few days...or weeks. Let you two get to know each other better."

"Don't go. I can't do this by myself. Maybe...maybe I can return him. Or regift to my sister! Yeah! She's the motherly type!"

"I think it's a little too late for that, dear."

"Melanie...please don't cry. I know you're disappointed --"

"I'm more than disappointed, I'm heartbroken. Here I've been wanting our own and then Emily brings you...brings you...Oh, I'm so mad at you! How could you?"

"We can still have our own, Melanie. We're not limited to one."

"No. We had a plan and having two was not part of the deal. Have fun with your pup, darling. I'll be at my mother's!"




Written For ▼

Dialogue 500
December 2023
341 words
Prompt: You receive a Xmas gift from an old flame then try to explain it to your spouse.