Avoidance

I sat down thinking of you

The memories of you consume me

I lied to you telling you I got over you

I am not

The funny thing is that I thought I was

I avoided the idea of being with you

I thought I was over you

friends are what we are

I feel guilty if I tell you I was lying

but my heart is begging me to tell you

although my heart is what got me here

I don't trust myself with you

What I will say

What I will expose

But you are the only soul I crave to see

I chose him not you

I'm dating him yet I am thinking about you

I know that's wrong of me

I know I shouldn't

I thought the pain of letting you go didn't hurt

Oh I was so wrong

Now I am feeling everything and I feel so numb

You took it all and I know it wasn't your intention to hurt me

but you did

I can't get rid of this pain

Or use someone else to fill the void I feel

I can't avoid it anymore

You broke me in a way no one else wasn't allowed to

I took a chance on you

That decision was my fault

and the many I made after you