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Rated: ASR · Short Story · Entertainment · #2307905
They're Keying It In 964 WORDS - Proud to win Cramp!
Prompt


"Well, my elves, that just about wraps it up," Rudolph said, gathering his papers. We elves stood up respectfully as Rudolph and the other reindeer exited with dignity.

This was a first in Santa's workshop. Unknown to Santa and Mrs. Claus, the reindeer had called a meeting to discuss a new idea. They'd done it when the Clauses went on their annual vacation. As you can imagine, Santa and Mrs. Claus didn't take many vacations. In fact, their annual vacation lasted ONE day only. The first Monday in November each year. We had to discuss, agree on and implement the idea before they got back. It was tough, and each of us had our specific tasks to do.

"We must surprise the Clauses by having everything in place," Blitzen had emphasised. "If they see it can work effectively, they won't disagree and we can use it this Christmas."

The idea was huge. It was colossal. It was gigantic.

The reindeer wanted to computerise Santa's gift list.

Currently, it was being done manually, the way it had been done since Christmas began. "My Grandpa Santa did it this way and so shall I," Santa insisted. There were volumes and volumes of names, addresses, wishes and parental vetoes. It was getting difficult to tally them. It was getting difficult to plan effective routes, what with GPS trying to find the least used air-paths for the reindeer to traverse. Everything could be digitised, and then all it would need was a swipe and hey presto -- so much could be co-ordinated.

My task was a pretty heart-breaking one, I must admit. I had to compile the 'naughty' list and ensure that those kids didn't get gifts.

As a child, I'd been on the naughty-elf list myself often, and hence had been picked for this job. My own mother had volunteered me for it, actually, saying that since I think like naughty kids, I'd be able to compile their list better. Well, distasteful or not, I had to do it.

I sat at my laptop and did various searches. Kids who had stolen someone's lunch. Kids who had cheated on a test. Kids who had painted a blue stripe in the professor's hat so he had blue hair afterwards - stuff like that.

Within a minute, I had my first obstacle. "Jane Smith" had poured glue on her teacher's chair. But there were 24 kids called 'Jane Smith' in the area. Which Jane Smith was to be put on the naughty list? I had to tally the name of the school with Jane's address and check which Grade the naughty Jane was in, to get my girl. It took a long time. I had to do this double check with every kid who popped up on my searches.

Then I had to sort the letters from the parents. Parental veto letters, to find out which toys weren't allowed (but they could get others) and which kids weren't to get toys at all, because they'd been naughty according to the parent. There I met my second obstacle. What the parents thought 'naughty' wasn't necessarily what was classed as 'naughty' in our Elf Guide. For example, Robert Hamilton's Dad said he shouldn't get a gift for pulling his sister's hair, but since she had punched him back, they were even and he wasn't on the naughty list. Deciphering parental handwriting and sorting the real complaints from the tell-tales took hours.

"HURRY!" came Donner's voice through the megaphone. "The Clauses have been sighted by our watchers, they'll be here in two hours."

The atmosphere in the computer room was tense. One hundred and twenty three elves had completed their individual tasks -- addresses, requests, demand and supply, appropriateness of roof for sleigh landing and appropriateness of chimney for Santa's descent, calorie count of milk and cookie intake -- everything. Now, it had to be put together in Cupid's system, so that he could create a single bar-code that could be swiped and hey presto all questions answered.

There wee several glitches. The StoryMaster and Itchybarn were called. A sleigh was sent to Writing Dot Com to fetch them, and they came, carrying their own laptops. Things went on much more smoothly with Itchybarn taking charge of the proceedings. He soon had the 123 elves lined up in order of their contribution to the overall task. Then, he divided what was to go in SM's computer and what was to go in his. The queue divided up accordingly.

The two geniuses guided the elves and the reindeer, just as Vixen announced, "The Clauses are at the gate!"

"Delaying tactics!" cried Comet.

"Not necessary!" replied StoryMaster, pressing 'ENTER' and watching every screen in the room flash "SUCCESS!"

"It's a good thing you're here," Dancer said to SM and Itchybarn. "The Clauses love WDC, you'll convince them in no time, to switch to technology."

Now Itchybarn and SM were privvy to a well kept North Pole secret. Milk and Cookies aren't served there, since Santa gets enough of them on Christmas Eve. Over cucumber sandwiches, potato pie and lemonade, they explained the new technology to the Clauses.

"Well -- " Mrs. Claus said.

"Well --" Santa echoed.

Everyone waited.

"Well -- We do think WDC is very well organised," Santa went on.

"So --," Mrs. Clause said, "so if Santa's workshop could be as well organised each year, well, let's go for it!!"

"And I have an idea," Itchybarn piped up.

"What's that, son?" asked Santa.

"How about canceling the naughty list this year, as a treat because you've got a better system? Let all the kids get presents!!"

"I think we might do as he asks."

I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad. My task has gone to waste!! But I guess overall I'm happy, all the kids will get gifts!!

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