Turkey Trot

420 words


‘Oh, no. He’s coming, girls. Better watch out, he’s got that look in his eyes, and he’s carrying an axe. He’s checking us out for Thanksgiving. Thank goodness I’ve been dieting.”

‘Good morning, ladies, you’re all looking in fine form, especially you, Tilly.”

“I’ve not been feeling too well this last week, Brian. Can’t you see I’ve lost a few pounds?”

“Really, Tilly? You’re looking as plump as ever.”

“Hey, Brian, I’ve recently noticed you speak differently to your darling wife. Sort of twangy.”

“That’s because I’m not from round these parts, not even the United States,Tilly. Nah, I’m from the land down under.”

“Under what?”

“Under everywhere, Tilly. Australia it’s called. It’s where the sun always shines, where we beat every other country at sport, the girls are gorgeous, and we eat barbecue for every meal.”

“Mmm, different culture then, Brian?”

“You bet it is, Tilly. We’re a laid-back sorta bunch, different in a lot of ways. Different foods, different holidays…”

“Sorry to interrupt you there, Brian, it’s just that I thought you said you celebrate holidays differently. Am I correct? Er, if so, just a thought. Do they celebrate thanksgiving there?”

“Nah. Now If it was a day off for the footy grand final that’d be great but we in Oz give thanks everyday just for the privilege of living there.”

“Not into sacrificing innocent animals then?”

“Sacrificing? Not sure what you’re getting at there, Tilly.”

“We, in the turkey pen, thought you may be on the lookout for a sacrificial lamb to the slaughter, so to speak. You know, for Thanksgiving dinner?”

“Well, Tilly my love, the missus, being born and bred here in the good ol’ US of A, insists I need to bring home the goods. That being a nice plump chested bird that’ll feed her whole family. She’s invited her mum and dad, brothers and Grandma and Pops. So, what’s a guy to do?”

“Maybe you could suggest a trip back to see your family in Australia, Y’know a surprise, like. I bet she’d like the excuse of not having to host the dinner this year. The weather is good there, you’re going to hate the winter here. I can already feel the chill in my feathers. Can’t you, Brian?”

“Mmm, you might have something there. I hate the snow and ice. A trip home, take the wife, she’d love it. I’ll go and book the tickets now and surprise her. Thanks, Tilly.”

“I’ll miss you, Brian. See you in the New Year.”


NOVEMBER PROMPT/ Your live turkey tries to convince you not to eat him for Thanksgiving.