Only after you left.

Only after you left

I realized.

I realized

just how much

I needed you to leave.

“Please don’t take it to heart”

I would say if I told you those words.

But part of me

wants you to take it to heart.

Part of me

wants you to feel how I felt

when you insulted me

over

and over

and over again

in front of everyone.

The flicker of hope

that someone

anyone

would stand up for me

only

to be let down as everyone continued to laugh

as if it was nothing.

I want you to feel that.

And I know

that makes me sound like a terrible person

but I can’t help but continue to feel this way.

And

if feeling that way makes

me

the terrible person,

then

what does that make

you?