Never Be The Same

Never Be The Same



Waitin’ for the day that I feel whole again,
But I just topple down like a bowlin’ pin.
I scream and shout without the vocal sense,
Wishin’ this feelin’ came with a jokin’ end.
Isolate and give myself a little space ---
Kinda makes this smile seem real out of place;
‘Cause it is, and joy is hidin’ in the shade
That’s as dark as the color of House of Spades.
Abyssal black, and that’s where I want to be.
I allow my heart to hang right on a tree
From a noose, and then I sit and watch it swing,
Wishin’ that this torture will soon set me free.
Devil tries to strike a deal to make things right:
Peace and joy if I just sacrifice my life.
Then he temptingly provides for me a knife.
I hold it to my neck and I close my eyes.
I stop because a voice whispers in my ear,
“You don’t have to do this, no, for I am here.”
The angelic voice of God is what I hear,
Yet the Devil never stops instilling fear.
The cycle begins again day after day ---
Me overcoming his suicidal sway.
Depression eventually goes away,
But I guarantee I’ll never be the same.
...And I know that it won’t go away today…





Mentality



Whatever happened to the mentality
Of bein’ supportive parents?
All you know how is to degrade;
Yeah, you’ve made that quite apparent.
The only kid that’ll make you proud
Is one that’ll match your internal appearance.
All I ever get from you
Is fuckin’ critique and your disappointment.
So I’m done goin’ out of my way,
‘Cause I don’t find it fuckin’ worth it.
Sorry if this comes off a little rude,
But I don’t know how else to put it:
You want someone to match your reflection,
You should do your own fuckin’ lookin’
In the mirror because face it,
For you, nothin’ is ever fuckin’ perfect.





Ridiculous


Yeah, strip me of my flesh;
Show 'em what's underneath.
Look at you in that dress;
Still perfect as you could ever be.
Meanwhile, I just look like death ---
Stomped, stabbed; look what you've done to me.
Fuckin' aim at me
On your social feeds?
All I gotta do is spill the beans.
Yeah, I could take you down
Worse than you could ever think.
I got so much dirt on you,
It's like you're already in a grave.
Yeah, the two of us
Have got sinful ways.
Fuckin' heat things up
By centigrade.
Time to put the truth
Up on the center stage.
Piss me off just to see
How I handle rage.
God didn't send you to heal me, bitch.
In fact, quite the opposite.
My life has turned to shit.
Yeah, I still love you, Mik',
But this is gettin' ridiculous.





Angel



I don't think you know how much you mean to me...
I keep getting lost in our memories,
And then I start thinking wishfully
That I should have kept dating you something of secrecy.
I should've loved you in full, as you yourself did for me.
But now thinking back, it's really sad to see
That nothing came of us but something of infamy.
Maybe if I made you a love song for each anniversary,
And then sang from the heart to you accordingly.
I wish I could've been your Mozart symphony...
No matter what you wore, you were always a sight to see.
You were the light that was always blinding me.
Yeah, I know I said before that you weren't,
But I swear you were an angel God sent to me.
Nah, you wasn't sent to heal,
But you were always there for me.
How could I let down a person like you?
Now it's suffocating, this air I breathe.