Global Warming

They said the Sunbelt is the place
to go when you are old.
Yeah, move out of the freezing North
so you escape the cold.

But Global Warming’s hitting us
and changing things around.
Things aren’t like they were before.
At least that’s what I’ve found.

Now Arizona’s not the state
where you might want to go.
It’s warmer than your oven there,
something you ought to know.

And Florida is off the list
(for more reasons than one).
It’s not my destination choice,
when all is said and done.

And look at California there,
it’s had some troubles, too.
Oh, I would steer away from it.
That’s my advice to you.

With Global Warming heating up,
the situation’s changed.
The best spots to retire to
have all been rearranged.

Yeah, Minnesota tops the list.
Can you imagine that?
You still might need your winter coat,
some mittens and a hat.

But if this trend continues on,
and there’s a chance it will,
you might decide it’s worth a shot,
despite a little chill.

Oh, climate change is real, you know.
It’s here right on us now.
We’ll have to make some changes, too,
to get through this somehow.

So change your plans and pack your bags
and check your compass too.
Then head on up to Canada
and I will follow you.

Those folks up there are really nice.
I’m sure they’ll let us in.
And if they don’t we’ll roast down here.
Sometimes you just can’t win.