To Catch a Monkey…

To Catch a Monkey…
Apparently, It's only twice as hard as catching humans.



Have you ever seen the National Geographic Documentaries where indigenous folks from the subtropical regions of the Dark Continent catch monkies? It is a practice whose origins remain undetermined even today. I am told (but have not yet found) that there are examples of this practice in the Bible. The last notwithstanding, a good number of documentaries, news articles, fables, and fairytales use this trap or its insidious methods throughout history and across many cultures.

For those readers under thirty who have probably never seen or heard of NAT/GEO, much less held one of their glossy magazines, you have missed out on one of the most awaited periodicals ever to hit the mailboxes of American Boomer and early Gen X teenagers. This was one of many monthly postings where the scent of these newly printed pages has been known to cause noticeable changes in these prepubescent young men. But that's something for a different essay.

The trap works like this: The trapper uses a coconut, box, bottle, or other hard-sided container. They tie a cable, chain, or other lanyard to the coconut to a stake. Then, pour some Monkey-loved treats, like rice or mealworms, into the coconut through a hole made as big as a monkey's hand but smaller than a monkey's fist.

The creature first smells the hole and is intrigued by the scent. The monkey can easily reach into the coconut. Sometimes, they insert fingers partly and quickly test with an empty hand. After each time the monkey tests the trap, they smell the opening.

The trap is now fully set. The monkey's brain tells it there is something good in the container, and without any perceived risk, it inserts its hand to be rewarded with a fist full of sweet worms or rice (which it perceives as worms). The monkey retracts its hand only to find it stuck inside, its fist full of treats too big to go through the opening. The monkey is caught because it will not let loose of its prize. Its brain becomes so focused on the bait it overrides its fight or flight physiological response. The trapper walks up and pulls on the lanyard. Holding the trap, the monkey still tries to keep the prize. The trapper grabs the monkey by the neck and is caught without a bite or scratch. The monkeys are then eaten or, more often, sold to labs or used as free slave labor in plantain coconut and date farming.

Ever wonder if this trapping method will work on higher primates? Naw, there is no way! Today's youth are much brighter than monkeys. Aren't they?