The Devil Went Down to Midtown

“Nice digs,” Ronnie muttered.

The luxuriously-appointed penthouse with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out over Central Park was certainly an improvement over his current basement apartment, which had views of overflowing dumpsters and a dingy alley.

“You like it?” The Devil replied. “It’s yours.”

“Could you repeat that, please?”

“The apartment’s yours. I’ll even throw in the eight-figure job it’ll take to maintain the appropriate lifestyle in a place like this. And if this place starts to feel a little lonely, there’s a single and very flexible professional dancer that lives next door. I’ll put in a good word.”

“What’s the catch?”

“You’ve seen enough movies, Ronnie. The life of your dreams in exchange for your soul.”

“But ... why me?”

The Devil shrugged his shoulders.

“Isn’t the better question, why not you? Why hasn’t God already provided this? You’re a good person. You deserve to have everything you’ve always wanted. I’m just the one standing here offering it to you.”

It was everything that Ronnie had always wanted. A high-paid career, living like the one percent of the one percenters. It sure beat scraping by, always one step away from being homeless or being forced to move back home.

“Deal,” Ronnie said with zero hesitation.

The Devil clapped his hands and produced a contract out of thin air. Once Ronnie signed, the Devil laughed evilly. “Enjoy this life, Ronnie, because you’re mine in the next one!”

Ronnie shrugged. “Fine with me. I’m a Seventh-Day Adventist."1

The Devil’s jaw dropped.

“Since when?”

“Since ... always?”

“You’re Ronald M. Jackson from Spokane, right?”

“I’m Ronald W. Jackson from Spokane. But ... we signed a contract so I still get all this stuff, right?”

The Devil nodded reluctantly and muttered, “This is coming out of the paycheck of whatever moron in data analytics mixed you two up.”


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300 words

Written For: "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" 

Prompt: Write a story they includes the line: “Could you repeat that please?”

Footnotes
1  Seventh-Day Adventists don't believe in the separation of the soul from the physical body after death. They instead believe in the concept of "soul sleep" (i.e., that once someone has died, their soul becomes inert until the time of the Resurrection. In the meantime, they are not consciously aware of, or affected by, anything.).