"tightening"

my skin tightens
my flesh rips
(past clothe pins and seams)
the fat never thins
the blood overspills

my reflection reminding
me of my missing potential
once so innocent, once so permissible
i must repent
i must be forgiven
god, end my sorrow
from christ, his blood i must borrow
his wine, i drink
holy, spiritual, forgiving
my essence, it is filling
in drunkness i wallow
faded, grey, oh so hollow
my very own drunkness however
unforgivable, vile
in my overwhelmingly putrid,
torn, bloody weakened flesh
it rots, and the rot, it seeps
it infects, and soon it is infected
inside (and) out perfected
mold grows in every corner of my soul
time has run out! i have been ruined
no spell, no witch, can buy what is sold
no god, no christ can save
what has been forgotten and hidden
find what has been missing
purify what has been ridden
i have been bidden!